You want to get reviewed here! (Updated 27/3/12)

Want to get your record reviewed on a blog that reaches up to a half-dozen people!? Why the hell wouldn't you!? We're currently open to the following methods of getting your stuff to us:

Probably the easiest method for everybody:
Email us the url to your Bandcamp page; let us know which record to listen to. Bandcamp is a great tool for bands (in my opinion, probably one of the best) where they can upload, sell, and stream entire records. We'll go there and listen to the record a couple times, bookmark the page, come back to it later, blah blah blah. Boom, you've got a review. Let us know if you want us to post the url to your Bandcamp.
If you would like us to stream an mp3 of one of your songs right in the review, let us know and we'll stream it right from Bandcamp.
If you would like us to stream an mp3 but don't have a Bandcamp, please consider the following: Archive.org is free, hosts tons of material under Creative Commons licenses (like Bandcamp does), and things stay up there forever. We are not affiliated with Archive.org but we have never had a problem with them and use them to host our own material for streaming purposes.

Probably the clumsiest / most outdated method:
Email us mp3s.
Include your band name and record title in the subject line thusly:
Band Name – Record Title
If you have to send the record in two emails (more on this later), label things like this:
Band Name – Record Title – Side A (or Side 1, same difference)
Band Name – Record Title – Side B (or Side 2, for you numerical types)
Please zip or rar everything into one folder with as much compression as your compression program can muster. If you can’t get it under 25MB, please divide the record into side A and side B and send us separate zips or rars for each side in separate emails. Do not email us one or two mp3s at a time over the course of six or seven emails. It clutters up the inbox and when multiple bands do this, things get pretty confusing pretty quickly.
Don’t send FLAC. We have the codec, we installed the codec, we’re pretty sure that the codec works, but it’s still a pain in the ass.
If you have not included the track number in the metadata for each song, then please title the mp3s with their respective track number preceding the title using double digits. If you use single digits, “10” will come after “1” and before “2”. Each mp3 should be titled like so:
01 Title
02 Title
03 Title
Etc
This will help us to play the record in the way you sequenced it. Otherwise, it’ll just get thrown into a play list in alphabetical order. Unless, that is, you applied the track number to the metadata.
In (one of) the zip or rar folder(s), please include a text document of some sort with the following information:
Band Name
Record Title
Track Listing
This information is necessary for a quick reference so we don’t have to keep switching between the review we’re writing and iTunes to grab a title. We can just copy and paste this info right at the top of the page and glance up at it when needed. Then we’ll delete the text from the review and voila, motherfucker.

Probably the method that makes us feel the ookiest:
Email us the link to your MediaFire page.
No, we are still not going to go to Rapid Share or Mega Upload for your record. Those two sites in particular ask us to sign up for some US$9.99/month service or some shit to download more than a file in an hour. They're ridiculous. Don’t send us those links, it’s annoying.
MediaFire? They don't do that or at least we haven't seen them do that. We don't use them for file hosting so we can't speak to their security. And how do we know it's really you sending us those links?

We can post your YouTube video. One of them. Pick one because we're not giving you a wall.

Here's shit that helps us out.
Optional information you may include:
Cover art (It will actually help, really.)
Personnel (including musicians, engineers, etc) (We really like this one.)
Gear that was used (We’re really nerdy about this one.)
Date(s) and Location(s) of the recording
Where you’re from
Your website (We’re not too cool to point people your way.)
Your tour dates

Optional information we don’t care about so you may as well skip it:
Your bio (unless you found a way to make it really short and really interesting at the same time, we don’t care)
Your lyrics sheet (if we can’t figure out what you’re saying, we’ll consider that part of the charm)
Other reviews
Seriously, that shit’ll just go into the recycle bin. Unless your band sucks, then we’ll just use it to make fun of you.

After we listen to the record, what happens?
Seriously? Wait. We have normal jobs that we have to be at and we don’t get any money from this, so seriously just wait. It might take a week before we get around to your record. If we get bombarded by a ton of bands, it could take longer than a week. Please don’t send us email after email asking where your review is. That is the quickest way to get it sent to the recycle bin.
We have really broad tastes in music, so don’t be afraid to send us your stuff, regardless of genre. There’re also three of us and we’re not all into the same bands and, in a lot of cases, styles, so that really helps, too.
Also, be prepared. We might not like your record. As musicians ourselves, we understand that you’re putting a lot of effort into an artistic endeavor that you felt was valid enough to record for posterity. But you and I both know that some people’s artistic expressions simply fucking suck. And what’s “suck” but an opinion? Hell, you might think my band sucks and I won’t take it personally. You’re just not into it.
If one of us is just not into your record, we’ll try to pass it off on to another writer who we might think would be. If we don’t like it and still write about it, we’ll try to explain what we don’t like about it in as least an insulting manner as possible. It’ll still be a negative review, but we’re not going to butcher the record.
Just be prepared because we’re going to be honest.
In fact, if we absolutely hate your record, we won’t review it at all.
If we really like your record, we’ll say so. We’ll probably say so in the dorkiest way possible. So be prepared for that, too.

What we’re allowed to do with the record after the review and what you’re allowed to do with the review after it is published...
If we want to keep your record (because it’s that fucking good), then we’ll ask you if we can keep it. You get to decide. If we don’t like it, we won’t keep it. We’re not going to be the assholes that go to a party and say, “You’ve got to hear this record; it’s so shitty!” We don’t roll that way.
If you would like to reprint the review, whether it’s just a portion or the entire thing, we ask that you ask us first. Chances are that we’ll agree to it but we like to know where it’s going to be reprinted first. When you ask us, please let us know where we can find it. We’re awfully picky about the words we use and we don’t want to be completely misrepresented. We’ll try not to misrepresent you and you’ll try not to misrepresent us, deal?

Thanks and happy recording.
 
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