21 May, 2012

You know how this is my blog and I get to do whatever the fuck I want with it?

Like when I post a video for no reason other than that I like it. Like this one of New Order playing "Bizarre Love Triangle" in Stockport, England in 1987.
Or this one of New Order doing "Age of Consent" for BBC Radio 1 in 1984. I mean, shit, any time you get an excuse to post a video of Stephen Morris doing sixteenth notes on the hi-hat, you have a reason to post a video. (Not to mention that Bernard Sumner's Vox cab is emblazoned with the words "GAY SPERM" in what looks to be masking tape.)

Your weekly musicians' ads.

This week? Shit's bonkers. I'm feeling fifty-fifty on these, my little illiterati...

♥SEEKlNG JAM SESSlON ( ##++minneapolis ++##)


Date: 2012-05-21, 7:54AM CDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]

Local musician Come and join them. . . profiles with video,

bios, music, pictures and more!!!!

There was a link here, now there isn't.

Playing sport was somewhat frivolous, but I liked it. I rebelled a little bit, and wouldn't go to music lessons and things like that, but I would go and play ball. My parents learned to love it because they saw how much I got out of it. UUUhhh... good to know, I guess.











  • Location: ##++minneapolis ++##
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METAL (ST.PAUL)


Date: 2012-05-20, 11:54PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Im xxxxx ive been playing drums for 12 years.
I have my own practice place and pa.
I need members for my band. Doesn't everybody?
when i say metal im talking more heavy subgenres like Deathcore,techmetal,hardcore,posthordcore,metalcore and prog
So dont send a message saying do you like some shit@#y 93x band Don't fucking do it.
Xxxxx xxx-xxx-xxxx
By the way im serious about this In case yo' bitch ass couldn't tell.
Thank you,
Xxxxx
  • Location: ST.PAUL
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Forming Young Original Rock Band (Fridley)


Date: 2012-05-20, 11:35PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I am interested in forming a young, original rock band. OK, he's already said "young". If he says "vibrant", I'm out. I am looking for drums, guitars, sax, keys, vocals, etc. I will help you with your stage presence, performances, exposure and marketing. In return for what, exactly? You will appear on some local cable channels along with you tube, flikr, facebook, etc. Age range 18 years old to 23 years old. I have a full studio with the majority of the instruments on site. Again, what's in this for you?
You've got a whole life time to explore music and bands you find interesting. I only have a few months. Oh, ha ha ha, great, I have the ominous feeling that I've just mocked a dying man. Let's see what we can do
  • Location: Fridley
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Metal/Groove Drummer needed (Saint Paul )


Date: 2012-05-20, 4:17PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

We are a heavy metal band. Period. We aren't Screamo. We are fairly established . OK, so you're established. Mind sharing the name of your established band with the class? We have a drummer but he has different views. Oh, sorry to hear that. Is he a libertarian? You don't need to be great, just a drummer who can dominate with complex or simple beats. We practice once or more a week and hve many shows lined up. We don't care how old you are but we are all 15. Facepalm? Is there a facepalm emoticon? Because I kind of need it. Email if you want in. Links or recordings are a plus but it doesn't matter.
  • Location: Saint Paul
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PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



tooling for anus-looking for punk spirited drum/bass

Tooling for anus... Well, at least he's going to get attention.

Date: 2012-05-20, 1:23AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

i have around 20 songs along the lines of early 90s grunge (nirvana, weezer) Did you just associate Weezer with grunge? Yeah, that's not... Yeah. with some 60s garage rock (the stooges, the sonics) and high energy punk and weirdness (ween, the meatmen, black flag). i'm looking for a drummer who can keep a clean beat and beat the fuck out of those heads, and a bassist who can carry the song while i fuck my guitar Lil Jon "What?" while i fuck my guitar and who can run off with his own restrained, but interesting, melody when i've got the rhythm (usually while i'm singing, but not always. i like to use the same guitar riffs for emphasis and as a base for somebody else's solos.) i'm looking for people in their early 20s I'm out. (read: not completely "realistic" Still out. (read: pessimistic) RRReeeaaallllllyyy fucking out. about making a living in music.). Ahem...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- deep breath - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA! Phew! Obviously, you've never been here before.
i'd like to practice nearly everyday, so if you're looking for a once a week sort of gig, apply elsewhere. with nearly daily practice we should be able to work out the songs i've got written, write some more songs, and get a respectable selection of covers under our belts by the end of the summer, upon which we can work on playing out. I like your moxie, kid. You have a realistic goal of playing out by summer's end with the not completely unreasonable but perhaps not always feasible strategy of daily practice. i know a couple bands along the same lines that we can set up shared shows with already and i'm always looking for more. planning on monthly shows by fall (if the right people can be found.)

i can send a couple rough demos if you're interested.
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Professional Band looking for Bassist (St. Paul)


Date: 2012-05-18, 12:26AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

We are a professional band with 3 years experience playing locally. We are looking for a new bass player. We play rock/progressive/alternative music. Biggest influences include We haven't done this in a while. Incubus, Suck. Coheed and Cambria, Suck. Dreamtheater, The 80s called, they want their hair back. Big Wreck, Never heard of them. Muse. The band of talented musicians that make music I don't like.

Requirements:
Must play 4 and 5 string. Then you must play a twelve string and your drummer needs rototoms.
5+ years playing experience and preferred band experience
Basic understanding of music theory
You can write bass lines One would hope that a bassist could do that.
You are awesome I've tried to be that. You can see how well that's worked out.
No drugs, [cough]Pussy![/cough] we are not a party band.
Must be willing to play covers for additional income. Yes, I'm willing to forego my artistic integrity and ride on the creative coattails of others' successes in the name of making money.
Must be available weekends for practice. 2 times every weekend.

We have an established following Holy shit! You're so good your fucking following is established? Holy mackerel! and play with national touring bands. Such as? We have one album released, and are currently working on our next album right now.
We are looking to make this into a career. Let's see, I've already done that whole caps-lock-ha-ha-ha thing once already, can I do it again?
Sure. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Please email us if you are interested and we will discuss things further. Discuss things further? That sounds like some shit my old man would say if I were in trouble but he was too busy to reprimand me at just that moment: "Go to your room and we'll discuss things further over dinner."
  • Location: St. Paul
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PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Local Artist Zest Music Fest - Now taking band submitals (St. Paul Park)


Date: 2012-05-15, 12:47PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Local Artist Zest Music Fest is now taking band applications. We are looking looking for only a couple more bands. We're open to most music styles, however we are not considering heavy metal Then I'm not considering you. or rap bands. Please respond via this craigs list add with your band name, genre, list of instruments/vocals in the band, ? links to your website or audio/video recordings, and your honest estimate for how many people you'd draw to this specific event Honestly? [counts fingers, looks to ceiling, nods head from side to side -] Oh and then... [resumes counting on fingers, nods] Zero. (see links below for event specifics).

We're looking for a couple of fun bands that are willing to "invest" in the event. Is this pay to play? You know, Bobby once got the Straightaways mixed up in one of those shows. I say "invest" because It's pay to play? the bands will be paid a % of the profits made from the festival. Basically, both the bar and the bands will share the risk/reward for how many people attend and how much they drink/eat. Smells like bullshit, to me. We still have to work with the bar to understand all the costs and negotiate the band % take away. Oh, so you mean that the bar is putting itself at a substantial financial risk and is going to do its damnedest to promote this event as well? (Fyi...I am a member of one of the bands performing...so I am in the same boat as you guys...and I am looking out for us musicans.) Sure you are, man, sure you are. Not that this event will be a big money maker anyway, I am more driven to perform/attend this because I think it will be fun. For a reference point, last year they had a similar event, except only 1 band. They brought in approximately 150 people and after bar cost, Bar cost? Oh, this has definitely got to be pay to play. the band came away with $690. So at least that gives you an idea of the numbers. Yeah, one band got very lucky at a pay for play event, pulled a hundred fifty people in the door and probably had to strong arm the bar for US$690. How many bands do you have on the bill this year? Ten? I mean, it's a festival, right? Let's say six bands at the very least. Let's say not every band brings a hundred fifty people or manages to keep those hundred fifty people around. And here you've been bandying about a number like US$690 dollars in the hopes that prospective bands will overlook the part where that wasn't for each band or one band, it was for the only band. This years event will be notably larger.


For more info on the newly created webpage
There was a url here, now there isn't.


  • Location: St. Paul Park
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Your weekly musicians' ads. (Special Supplementary Edition)

Remember two weeks ago? The part with The Review Gal? You know, she couldn't write very well, she reviewed cover bands, and (I couldn't tell if) she either hadn't an idea to express or just didn't know how to express the ones she had. Remember her? Yeah? Good.
Now, remember the supplementary edition from that same week? How everybody there responded to (read: lost their shit over) the blue fox ultra mega super jam jam time? Yeah, Minneapolis musicians apparently love nothing more than to dog pile on a waste of time. Witness the butthurt...

The review gal! Please Review My Band! (Twin Cities)


Date: 2012-05-15, 5:48PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Hey Review Gal - wanna come check us out? Guarantee you would like us!!
  • Location: Twin Cities
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RE: Review Gal (Everywhere)


Date: 2012-05-16, 9:14AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I have a review for you: you can't spell, you use horrible grammar and have no knowledge of music or of what it's like to play in a live band. Your "review" of City Knights is that the drummer is cute and the "suck knob" was turned up. You're an idiot. Do every musician in this town a favor and stay the hell home where you clearly belong, and stop writing ridiculous "reviews" that slam bands that don't play shitty current pop or aren't cute enough for you to fantasize about. After reading your bullshit for quite a while now, She's posted twice, guy. I've come to the conclusion that you don't have a brain cell in your head, which is reflected in your writing -- it's truly awful. And I'll bet good money the picture you posted is not even remotely close to what you look like. DDDuuuhhh...

Sincerely yours,

A local musician with over 25 years experience playing live in and around the Twin Cities
  • Location: Everywhere
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RE: CITY KNIGHTS BAND REVIEW (the whole world)


Date: 2012-05-16, 10:01AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

To all the haters out there, this Review Girl is your majority audience!! ? Yeah, she is not a musician or in a band, OK, we all suspect that but does anybody know this for a fact? either are your audience. Listen up, you might learn something. These small stupid details are what the general public pays attention to when they go out to see a show, they don't care or understand how long you worked on getting that Eddie VanHalen gtr solo or how many hours you spent in practice to nail all the chords and harmonies to that Boston song, they care how you look, ? act on stage, ? sound......get a clue! About what? Cover bands? Look good, act pro, have fun and don't suck and don't go crying when someone doesn't like your show!!
  • Location: the whole world
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re: Reveiw Gal (TC)


Date: 2012-05-16, 11:02AM CDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]

This review reeks of BS. This isn't somebody reviewing a band. It's somebody getting some sort of revenge. OOOKKK, now I think we're going off the deep end. It was clear the first time I read it and since it's been reposted I'm even more convinced. Shame on you whoever you are. This is a petty, immature thing to do. No, it's a tactless manner in which to say she doesn't like something. From the lack of language skills displayed in her writing over all, one could presume that she's not very practiced at making negative comments in a constructive manner. Or the short version: She's not mean, she's dumb. Plus, it's not even very well done! Put a little effort in. Perhaps some software or a smarter person to help you with the syntax, grammar, and spelling. Better yet, just move on. You're clearly not cut out for this sort of thing. WWWaaaiiittt a minute now. You can tell her she sucks to the point where she ought to pack it in but she can't make a similar comment about a fucking cover band? Wow, way to point out "petty, immature" things to do.
  • Location: TC
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Re: Review Gal


Date: 2012-05-16, 11:28AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I agree, these reviews are very immature. This is supposed to be a forum for musicians, not your 'typical audience'. Find a different forum Bruv, it's not a forum, it's a fucking classifieds site. If I can get a futon and a VCR here, it's not a forum. or start a facebook review site. Perhaps the most reasonable thing posted thus far.
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City Knights Review (Fridley)


Date: 2012-05-16, 11:33AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I am a former owner of many nightclubs around town. Indeed, I booked City Knights at my last bar. They drew a crowd every time. They played their material consistently, and up to a professional standard. I booked them many, many times over a 6 year period. All of the musicians in this band are experienced and know what they are doing. I, for one, would hire them in a minute if I owned a bar currently (indeed, I am pursuing another right now and will cll upon them again). I enjoy Tommy and his crew. And for those who don't know, Tommy is an entertainment professional who makes a living working the equipment at major concert venues around town. I am talking Target Center/State Theater/Excel, etc. I would bet his credentials stack up a little higher than most in the business. Anyway, I find it quite disquieting that a slander review is posted here. Slander!? Slander!? All she said, albeit in one of the more moronic and sophomoric ways possible, was that a cover band sucked and you call that slander? This listing category is not the place for it. Lady - take your review, if you can remotely call it that She did call it that because that's what it was. Piss poor, yes, but that's what it was. - and . . . Thanks Tommy and City Knights for all your work for me over the years!
  • Location: Fridley
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RE: Review Gal / City Knights


Date: 2012-05-16, 4:40PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Add me to the list that think this is totally dispicable. I bet she never thought she was going to catch this much hyperbolic shit. I'll even give you another angle and the name of MY BUSINESS and why I completely disagree with your post or reasoning behind it...no matter whom you really are.

As a local 22 yr DJ for a living and an ameteur guitarist myself, people like you, whom I'm guessing has never done either, it's always easy to take cheap shots from the cheap seats isn't it?! So, wait a minute, this is starting to bother me: Granted, I'm a musician, so I get a sort-of pass when I concoct a record review but since when does somebody need to be an active participant in a particular field to have an opinion on said field? So, she's not a musician? She can't have an opinion on a band or a record? Or is she not allowed to have negative ones? Hey, guess what: I've never made a movie or a TV show. Does that mean I can't form and maybe publicly state my opinion of movies or television programs? Do I have to wait until I publish one of my three novels before I can talk shit about the Twilight books again? This whole idea of "you-don't-know-how-to-do-it-so-you're-not-qualified-to-judge-it" is largely bullshit. It doesn't take away from that she did a piss poor job of writing her review, I'm just saying that I'm seeing some far shittier and hyperbolic attitudes than she presented. Everybody and their brother thinks they can do it just like everyone on Craigslist or Facebook thinks if they go to Guitar Center and by the gear, their suddenly a club mix-master or rockstar over night. Everybody does? Everybody? I won't speak for the band personally (and by the way... I have seen these guys regularly and they rock in my opinion and I agree with the previous post from the bar owner...professional all the way...so you're WAY off), but from me personally, anytime you want to step un the stage n front of the mic for me, have at it!!

As far as the band goes again...Your post is soooo loaded with calculated ignorance She said the band chewed gum and drank beer on stage and that the drummer was cute. That qualifies as "calculated ignorance"? Really? it's rather unfortunate that you choose to pick on one of the nicest bunch of guys on top of being really good. How's that job @ BK working out for ya huh? Oh we know..."Exciting things are happening @ BK" right? You sure showed her!

He posted all of his contact info here.



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RE Review Gal (TC)


Date: 2012-05-17, 9:58AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I read the reviews of review gal. People you're giving her what she wants. She has no credibility. DDDuuuhhh... Reviewing a band is more than what YOU like. You want audience reaction, draw and the appeal based on the genre. And cue the Lil Jon voice and say, "What!?"
  • Location: TC
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