19 November, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

We have a fair selection this week. I have a hangover.

Bass Player seeks Bass Player (St. Paul)

Date: 2012-11-18, 3:01AM CST

Hey - I'm a professional bass player of 10 years. OK. I'm starting a band, but I don't think I'd be a good fit for it. ? I won't be getting along with everyone very well, so I want to find a replacement for myself before I bother to find any of the other members. Tell me why I'm not following this. Is this a joke? I mostly play slap-slide bass. SSSooo... It goes "bronk"? I'm looking for someone with chops who's actually a decent person and won't be on an ego-trip all the time like I am. As for the style of music, you could take it in a lot of possible directions--it's your project. I'd be happy to fill in as a sub if you're ever too frustrated or depressed to play a show or if your wife leaves you. This is getting... you know... weird. Is this supposed to be "meta" or something? If you have a place to rehearse that would be awesome. I play a red bass with a tall black amp, which I'd be willing to sell for $500. I've got some beach-front property in Utah to sell you. I've got craigslist ads looking for the other members ready to go as soon as I find the right bass player, so if you think you'd be a good replacement for me let me know and we can get this thing started! We? I thought I was replacing you.
  • Location: St. Paul
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

RE: Doesn't anyone want to make a living in music anymore?? (Alloverusa)

Date: 2012-11-16, 4:05PM CST

Well....sorry Dan... I don't think "making a living" at playing music is even possible anymore... I gave it a go back in the 90's Which makes you a total expert on today's economy and music industry climate. and made about 600.00 a week...take off travel expenses, food, hotel, laundry..not much left.. For the sake of being a dick, as recently as 1999, US$600 translates to about US$825. Now, you're making eight hundred twenty five beans per week, exactly where the fuck are you staying? The Hyatt? I was also a musical director for a country band house gig with a 4000 sq ft dance floor for 2 years... paid vacation, paid insurance... Sweet gig. The band sucked..but country music was big and made people drink.... Country music makes people drink? but it closed... People just don't care about live music anymore... Right, nobody goes out to concerts. acoustic, band, or otherwise.... Think they are coming to see your great band? Yes. Think again...they are coming there to drink until they fall down and drool all over the hot blonde there with her friends... Is somebody feeling a bit cynical since having their dreams dashed? Bar owners don't care about how good your band is...they only care about how many customers you can help them get in the door... That's true. I have yet to meet a bar owner who actually gave a rat's ass about the bands they book. Bands have outpriced themselves these days.... a bar owner can get a DJ for less than half the price of a band ... License fees are over the roof for cover bands these days.... You mean people actually pay licensing fees? I thought that shit was an urban myth, like the bars that ask you to hand over your tax information so they can report you on their employment tax record whatever bullshit thing. Most original bands...well...unfortunately they just plain suck most of the time... I mean don't get me wrong MN has hat it's share of "stars" and one hit wonders... Prince...(is he even still alive?) You shut your filthy shit-covered-balls-filled mouth you kiddie-diddling brother fucking worm eater. (And by the way, my little illiterati, I see Prince at least once a week.) Wilco, Wilco are from Chicago, jackass. etc..... Who cares?...There isn't exactly an assembly line of top music stars leaving MN everyday.. Bottom line.... get a job and do the music as a hobby... I still curse myself every night as I stand on stage and see normal people come in and leave as drunken assholes and wonder WTF I am even still doing this... I'm wondering why the fuck you're still talking. With the price of gas these days you will spending more money to get to and from the gig half the time than you will be even be making.....if you're even getting paid at all.... and THAT is the truth.... 10 - 9- 8- 7- 6- 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 - F L A G Can somebody explain to me what the hell that means? (people don't like the truth here...they just make it go away......just like music) Are you drunk? >>>>>

  • Location: Alloverusa
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

OK, remember when I made that whole long drawn out joke about Michael Alig in this batch of musicians' ads? Yeah. I guess I wasn't the only one who took exception to the call for "freaks in heat". Witness...

re: "Freaks in Heat" (msp)

Date: 2012-11-15, 12:48PM CST

Not so much that there is a lack of freaks in this place but that . . . who wants to be described as such? Uh, probably anybody who's ever been outcasted and wears their differences like a badge of honor as opposed to longing for conformity and homogeny but go ahead.

The ad says more about the writer's own predilections and fucked-up, over-TV'd expectations than it does about anyone looking like 'a freak.' Well, he does want sort of a circus sideshow, granted, but that's no reason to get all butt hurt over things.

Also does not help that Mister Promoter will gain all the juju -- the credit, the oom-pah-pah, I've never heard of oom-pah-pah. Is that a thing? even some more money There's money involved? for being able to provide this 'service' -- but is offering what, again?

"All the attention you can handle"?

Why not just post an ad for 'mildly retarded attention whores' next time, dude? Because that's what he did already.

Sheesh . . .
  • Location: msp
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

This one? This one is just weird and can speak for itself.

Trade bands!!! (North Metro)

Date: 2012-11-14, 12:29PM CST

Engagement Ring for Your Gently used PA system.

One 14 KT White Gold ring
Platinum setting containing 3 Natural "Princess cut" diamonds.
Estimated total weight 1.09 Cts
Near colorless G-H
Clarity s1(2)/1(1)
Size 5.5

Lots of compliments on this ring.
If you have a Pa system for sale I will BARDER with you. Tell everyone you know. Tell everyone you know.

If interested will throw in the wedding band... as seen below, for the right $$ price or Pa system.

image 1
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  • Location: North Metro
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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