08 October, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

Some of you may not get what I'm about to say but, seriously, I need to make these quick because a motherfucker named Lord Wigglesbottom (yes) is completely wrong about Prometheus and he needs to know this. So let's get this shit out of the way.

guitarist (minneapolis, bloomington)

Date: 2012-10-01, 4:32PM CDT

Music type is Rock As opposed to paper or scissor music?

Me n a singer are looking for an extra guy or girl who can play basic power chords and a few other things, Hello.
this would be best for someone who has only been playing guitar for a6 months or a year How about seventeen years?
it would be a learning experience For the six-monther, yes.

NOT LOOKING FOR PROS... Still, hello.
this would be great for someone who wants to learn
songs and can take basic direction I'm out.

email me

main thing is we get along well Still out.

  • Location: minneapolis, bloomington
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

No one for metal? Guitarist looking... (South Metro)

Date: 2012-10-03, 8:18PM CDT

Where's all the metalheads? Hello. Experienced guitarist here looking to join or start something heavy. OK. I listen to a bit of everything but would like to do something that incorporates elements of power, OK. thrash, I'm liking it. heavy, I wasn't aware that light metal existed but OK. and prog metal, I'm out. even some hard rock (ei. Edguy). Who the fuck is Edguy? [Googles.] Uh... [makes it seventeen seconds into the video] No. Just some good old fashioned mid-fast tempo melodic stuff.

Stuff I listen to: Testament, Meh. Opeth, Eh. Iced Earth, Meleveh. Blind Guardian, Brebebeh Accept, Ehgeh. Arcturus, Germeh. Iron Maiden, Feh. Edguy, Neh. Children of Bodom Kehmelehmelemeh. (older stuff), Symphony X Bleh. and tons more.

Since everyone wants recordings/videos before they'll even talk to you these days, here's a little riff medley I threw together:
There was a link here, now there isn't.

About me: 27 years old, stage and studio experienced, good gear/trans/job, do my homework, able to practice on a weekly basis.

*Note: I am Christian. My Spidey-Sense tells me we're about to get the "I'm an open-minded Christian and I don't care what you believe as long as your beliefs don't offend me speech". I don't care what you are or aren't so long as you are open minded and can compromise on lyrics that are profanity-free Suck the shit out of my asshole, you kiddie-diddling brother-fucking worm eater, and spit the shit into your mother's vagina while you watch me fuck your grandfather in his trache hole. How about that? and also free of any anti-God/pro-evil messages. So, in other words, you do care about my beliefs.
Don't we all just love willfully oblivious / overly pious Christian hypocrisy?

  • Location: South Metro
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

anyone remember 2i?


Date: 2012-10-06, 8:31PM CDT

they were great, weren't they? How should I know?
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Looking for the funkiest guitarist on the planet!!!

Date: 2012-10-07, 5:16PM CDT

XxxXxxxxxxXxxxxxx, a 10-piece nu-funk, neo-soul, & R&B band That sounds painfully white? based Around ten white people? out of Minneapolis Where you can't get much whiter except from Canada? is looking for White people? a White? talented, White? funky, Oh, you meant black this entire time? guitarist that is interested in working on original material and moving forward with a high-potential project. The band has frequently performed at White people bars? major local venues (The Fine Line, O'Gara's,The Cabooze, and Bunker's to name a few). Influences are AAAnnnddd get ready to Google! Dwele, BLACK! Maxwell, BLACK! Earth Wind & Fire, BLACK! RH Factor, OLD AND WHITE! Lettuce MULTICULTURAL WITH A BLONDE MOTHERFUCKER NAMED JESUS! and the well-known bands that represent the Minneapolis sound.

We will be holding auditions on October 17th, 24th, and 31st for those seriously interested. Please contact A white motherfucker. Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxx @ xxx-xxx-xxxx or reply to the link in the 'Reply to:' field above.

Check out our music at: A bunch of links to white people! Looking forward to meeting you!
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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