17 September, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

This weekend actually had a ton of stuff going on: There was the third annual Anarchist Book Fair at Powderhorn Park (I went, didn't stay, and some high school looking bird tried to get my attention, which was weird) and the Electric Fetus Garage Sale (I scored two LPs and two CDs for two dollars fourteen cents). There was also a beer festival and a drum circle that I didn't find out about until after they were over and I'm OK with that.
I'm just saying that there was a lot of stuff going on what with summer drawing to a close. That's what happens every summer in the Twin Cities. People freak the fuck out and go outside for the last few days of eighty degree weather. Thus not that many weirdoes were inside. Except for this lot.

Please help an abroad college kid get a CD to his girl in the states

I imagine a wounded soldier on the battlefield looking up at the field medic, handing him a letter that he's kept on him for just such a disaster, a letter that tells his girl that he loves her and he won't be coming home and he looks up at the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta do me a favor, Doc. You gotta get this to Jenny, Doc, my girl back in the states."
At least that's what I see in my mental cinema.

Date: 2012-09-17, 2:30AM CDT

I am currently abroad in Europe for the semester and my special girl (from nebraska) Coincidentally, I'm preparing to review Springsteen's Nebraska later this week. is about to go on a cross country trip. And she is going to cheat on you. No doubt about it. You're in Europe where you just know she's sure you're fucking around and so now, without her friends or family around to keep her in check, she's going to go on a tour of fifty states' worth of revenge dicks.
There's also the part where she totally wouldn't do that but I like the scenario that makes you paranoid.
She wanted me to make her a CD to listen to on her road trip, Gag me.
Oh, wait. Couples actually do - what's that word? nice things for each other?
Still. Gag me.
but I don't think it will make it there in time. Because you were off bangin' two Belgian chicks at the same time instead of making a mix CD for your girlfriend like you were supposed to.
Sure, you totally weren't, but I like the scenario that makes "your girl" paranoid.

I would appreciate if someone out there could send her a CD with a few songs, no matter the genre. III'''mmm not sure you really want that to happen. Have you thought this through? Just something to let her know that I'm still thinking about her. Nothing says "thinking about you, boo" like the forty or so CD-R burns of Morbid Florist that she's about to get, thanks to you. You asshole.

If you have someone special Nope! then you know how important it is for me to make this happen. [starts burning a copy of Morbid Florist]

Her address is Oh. Shit. He's actually going to... No, he wouldn't, would he? XXXX Xxxxxxx Xx Omaha, NE XXXXX. You. Dipshit. Do you have any idea how irresponsible that is? [checks progress on that copy of Morbid Florist] Please address it to NNNOOO!!! Xxxxxx. You. Jackass. [writes address on envelope]

Thank you so much [starts burning a copy of Naked City's Absinthe]
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Drummer Wanted for Pop Rock/Punk Band (ATL, YC, P!ATD) (Burnsville)

Date: 2012-09-16, 7:42PM CDT

My band is currently looking for a drummer. We play Pop Rock/Punk music; some of our main influences include All Time Low, Yellowcard, Panic! At The Disco, etc.

-We're all in our late teens slash early 20s, so be in that age range. If you're not, fix that. And, pray tell, how does one pull that off, junior?
-Must be motivated and willing to make the time commitment. This isn't a jam band. Uh, jam bands are pretty motivated and committed. No, I can't stand the music but you can't deny their work ethic. We eventually want to tour at some point Like jam bands do all of the fucking time. You can't stop a jam band from touring. Hell, most jam bands have no legitimate reason for owning or renting homes of any sort because they're always on the road. It's what they're known for. and try to make something out of this. Right and the Grateful Dead, the most legendary of all jam bands, has no recognizable iconography or reputation whatsoever. They totally didn't make anything out of themselves.
(For the record, just want to remind people that I'm not down with that hippie shit. It's just that I'm more not down with idiots.

-Preferably have your own kit but worst case we have one.
-Must bring cupcakes to every practice. Shut up and quit trying to be zany.

Those are the requirements. The last one was optional but strongly encouraged. Shoot me an email with some info and maybe your Facebook, Twitter, or Youtube videos if you have any so we know you are in fact real and not a Catholic priest. What the hell does Catholicism have to do with anything? We love to spoon as much as the next guy, but we're not going to play Hot Cross Buns with you. OK, asshole. You finally did it. You made me Google something to try to figure out what the hell you're going on about. And you know what? I still don't know what you're going on about. That last sentence made no sense. "Hot Cross Buns" is an English nursery rhyme that has nothing to do with guy-on-guy sex. So, please, explain to me what the hell you mean.

  • Location: Burnsville
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

As I do every once in a while, I try to not make these things all about the negativity. Here's a band that needs help booking shows. I'm not anonymizing it in the hopes that you, mon petit illiterati, will help them out if you can. So, please, nobody here use their info to be dicks.
Also? Asian twins! Adorable!

touring indie electronic rock band looking for gigs (minneapolis/st. paul)

Date: 2012-09-15, 2:47AM CDT
 cjf9f-3263613056@comm.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


We're an indie electronic rock band named Claudeo (http://claudeo.com/) from San Diego that are on tour this fall. We're looking for any open shows in or near Minneapolis early-mid October (sometime between 10/6 and 10/12 preferred). We have a demo that can be heard here: http://claudeo.bandcamp.com/

Thanks for checking us out!

  • Location: minneapolis/st. paul
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 3263613056

Let's start a band (United States)

Where in the United States?

Date: 2012-09-13, 8:53PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I am a female singer, banjo/ukulele/guitar player Hi, Zooey! and want to start a band. That is all. Email me if you are interested in the band, it will be epic. As epic as this ad.
  • Location: United States
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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