10 September, 2012

Your weekly musician's ad

It seems as though the state fair, Labor Day weekend, and the kielbasa festival up at Kramarczuk's (which was awesome, by the way) has our weirdo population here all tuckered out. I was able to find only one ad worthwhile. Sure, there were some others that were... Out there? A little wacky? But, honestly, we've done those before. I mean literally those specific ads.
Anyway, let's meet the new kid!

drummer needed (mpls)

Date: 2012-09-07, 11:07AM CDT

Xxx XxXxxxxxxx need a drummer. OK. Must play on an acoustic kit developed into an electronic with brain. Lil Jon What? All this on a revolving drum stage. OK, I've been trying to figure out what the fuck he means and all I can figure is that he means the stage spins or something like a Mötley Crüe set up. I think.
If this sounds like you, then answer ad. If not, dont waste your time.
Must be a simple groove drummer.
Must be able to follow a click track.
Must be able to play country, rock, rockabilly, R&B, Funk, mostly any type.
If you can play a swing beat, a rock beat, less fills and more groove oriented.
If this sounds like you, then please respond for an auditon.
And get ready for confused and impotent indignation in t-minus three... two... one...

I got one response in two days? OK, first? Wasn't me. Secondly, perhaps it's because nobody knows what you mean with all this electronically developed acoustic revolving stage nonsense. Also, things take time. Have you ever posted an ad before? Did you expect your inbox flooded with fifty emails ten minutes after you posted? Chill the fuck out. Where's the musicians? [raises does not raise hand] Bunch of lazy as's and hoots of dispare i tell ya's???? OK OK OK, that makes next to zero sense. Let's try breaking that down bit by bit to see if we can make it work. Bunch of lazy as's I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that by "as's", he means "asses" (or maybe he was trying to form a contraction of "as is", like when we turn "it is" to "it's"). and hoots of dispare Hoots of Despair... I would maybe see that band depending on the opener. i tell ya's???? OK, first of all, that's not a question and, further, it's not a question warranting four interrogation marks.
American heritage. Just sit on your duffs and be counted as a stat.... This is the oddest doling out of abuse I've ever seen, considering it's just because the guy didn't get a shit ton of responses. You know what I mean? It's like he's blaming his lack of responses on 'Mer'ca.
I'd like to use some better adjectives to describe the state of the music world....hahahhahahahahahahahah Hey... That's my bit.
Does Anybody want to make it big?
Does Anybody want a job? I have a job, thank you.
Do i have to provide the drum sticks too? What fucking direction are you going in? I mean, really. At any given moment through your day, are you not a schizophrenic?
  • Location: mpls
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

No comments:

Post a Comment

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.