20 August, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ad.

It's been a long time since we had only one. And I'm not going to lie, this one isn't even that good.

Punk Rock (Andover)


Date: 2012-08-19, 10:42AM CDT


No, not pop punk. Thank you. No, not hardcore metal. Well, that wouldn't be punk because, you see, it's metal. You even said it's metal. Definitely not metalcore. I can't keep up with all these "________cores" anymore.

Think back to early AFI. OK. Remember how good that was? No. Maybe think Zebrahead Still haven't gotten around to listening to. or Rancid. Ew, gross. I've got this weird little feeling that the world could use a good dosage of some classic punk mayhem. Because there was a deficiency all of a sudden? So here's the facts. Lay it on me, brother-man.

I play guitar. OK. I have guitar gear, I would hope so. and I can utilize it well enough. So, wait. Was that a roundabout way of saying you can't really play?
If you play drums Nope. or bass, I can. we could have a nice little circus going on here.
If you can sing, That's debatable. even better. I can sing too. But I'd rather do one thing at a time. Was that a roundabout way of saying you can't sing?
Remember though, every single piece of the band is mandatory to create the full effect. I have no idea what this means, yet I agree with it. Thus is the zen of Craigslist.

So. What are we looking at? I don't know, what are you looking at? I don't have a life. Same here. I lack a serious career. Hear that. I want to play music for people. And it's about to get weird in that inflated-sense-of-importance way in three... two... one... We are the true voice of the world, and we can only do that if we give the world a reason to listen. You're asking a bit much from a guy who's only marginally interested in playing bass in a band that plays, well, bullshit.
I want this to be almost entirely about the performance. Here we go. This is where shit's about to get weird. Yes, good music is a necessity, I sense a "but" coming. (That's what she said.) but the live show is what's going to absolutely kill. I need men or women of the highest live performance pedigree. Pedigree?
I will hurt myself on stage if I have to get the audience going. So, you can't play guitar, you can't sing, you just want to get on stage and jump around a lot. Have you thought about just looking for ska bands and doing that thing that one guy from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones did? All he did was skank or whatever the move is where you run in place in time to the music and keep your arms up like you're doing the chicken dance. (Is that skanking?) He didn't play an instrument, he didn't breathe a word of back up vocals, he didn't even technically have choreography. Just the same dance, every time. Skankin' it up. Image is important too. But of course. Look the part.

If you're in, No. hit me up. I'm Xxxx. I'm 19. That explains it! Don't much care how old you are as long as you can fit in and lay off the substances. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fuck you. Don't need anyone passed out in a puddle of their own piss before a show. Ye of little faith. Know what you're doing. I do. Most importantly, have fun. I do.

I look forward to talking to you. Keep looking forward.
  • Location: Andover
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