11 June, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

Yeah, I'm running behind on things today because I had to do payroll, send in a supply request, reprimand a subordinate, and then I got a call from the plumber... You know how it is when you're, you know, at work.

help son please


Date: 2012-06-10, 10:42PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

help my son is 11 and really wants to be in a boy band You've left me no choice. but cant afford lessons what should we do Do the Ludovico technique but with the Backstreet Boys. dont want to kill his dream You should. because i have no money That's a good one, my mother used the same excuse to tell me that I couldn't take karate lessons.
  • it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



If Cash was still alive..... (Eagan)


Date: 2012-06-10, 9:49PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I absolutely HATED country music until I heard Hurt by Johnny Cash. Uh, you know that's A) a Nine Inch Nails song and B) that song is grossly overplayed, right? I'm still not a fan of today's country music genre, Can't blame you. but I love its past. I am fortunate to have a similar voice as Johnny had on his later records. So you sound like a withered baritone-voiced man knocking on death's door after decades of sustained narcotic and alcohol abuse? Johnny's voice in his covers created a completely different emotion from the original track. Uh, yeah. Because he's doing countrified versions of those songs. Music is a huge part of my life and Johnny Cash opened my eyes with his covers. Give his originals a try some time. They're much more rewarding. (Before him I only listened to hip hop music!) I have, in my mind, SO many of today's songs that could have such a greater meaning if it was sung by Mr. Cash. I'm looking for a musician that can help me slow down some songs and adapt them to my singing. My favorite would be as if the older Johnny Cash preforming the song Rehab. "Rehab"? The Amy Winehouse "Rehab"? The "They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, 'no, no, no'" "Rehab"? Really? Uh... I can't hear that in my head. Something about a septuagenarian singing the line "I aint got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine..." Daddy, Mommy, any parent, really. I mean, we're talking about a grown goddamned man, here. And both of his parents are dead, too. So, uh... No.
  • Location: Eagan
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Female Keyboardist Casio, Organ, Synth wanted (South Minneapolis)


Date: 2012-06-10, 6:57PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Cool new band looking for quirky keyboard girl Quirky keyboard girl? That's what we're going with now? Look, motherfucker, just come out and say, "I'm under the impression that being in an indie band will get me into Zooey Deschawhat'sherface's pants". Just say it. It's OK. I'd give Zooey the touch, the feel of cotton, too but you don't see me putting her in my band so I can have a crack at her, do you? No. You know why? Because I'm not sixteen anymore. to play in our already gigging band. You should be creative, be able to write keyboard parts quickly and have enough time to practice once or twice a week and play 5 shows a month. Some touring when we get a little bigger also. We are looking for someone between 18 and 30 to play cheap sounding keyboards like a casio Some Casios are actually pretty nice. through a delay pedal or a moog rogue or some kind of organ. We don't want a huge keyboard rig or anything too fancy. Our band is guitar based kind of garage rock but a little more sophisticated. Sophisticated garage rock. RRRiiiggghhhttt... Drop me a line and tell us what you are like.
  • Location: South Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



WANTED Accordion Player for estabished Indie rock group (Uptown)


Date: 2012-06-10, 6:43PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

We are an established indie rock band looking for an accordionist. Female preferable between 18 and 27, Men feel free to respond we just need the right fit. But what you're really saying is that you're looking for young lady to play accordion. Kind of quirky, maybe? You know, to fit your indie rock image and all? Bruv, just say it: You're into Zooey, too. Our music is a lot like the pixies or breeders or stereolab, it's louder than it is folky. I should hope so because I equate none of the aforementioned bands with "folky". Think velvet underground but instead of a Viola we want Accordian. OK, really, A) a droning accordion? You know, employing accordion in the same capacity as Cale played the viola in Velvet Underground? I'm going to go ahead and tell you to not do that.
Well, actually, go ahead and do that because now I want to know what that would sound like. I can't imagine it would be any good but give it a shot. B) How the fuck did you manage to spell accordion correctly until now?
Applicants should be pretty Like Zooey? excited Oh. to play a ton of live gigs and be willing to tour sometimes and live the dream. Email us and tell us a little about yourself, no experience necessary just be ready and willing.... experience is great too.
  • Location: Uptown
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



moving to mpls in July (public place)


Date: 2012-06-10, 11:31AM CDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]

I'm an acoustic guitarist and have been playing for 5 years. Good for you. looking to jam with anyone who is serious about making a living Doing what? What we... what we... doing what we love... Oh, what we love! That's right. The line I hear all the time. Somehow it escaped me just then. creating/performing music :) I'm 98% original artist / 2% cover artist. lol. LOL? in my opinion, if I have the talent, passion, and skill to write my own music on my instrument, why waste my time learning other artists' material? lol I don't know... Did that really necessitate a LOL? :D And then the colon-D emoticon, too?

I'm moving from west Texas to Mpls and can hopefully make some friends beforehand. I listen to all kinds of music in all kinds of genres, from country, rock, metal, dubstep, christian, gospel, indie, pop, r&b, and rap. my original material sounds like And get ready for the self-administered accolades! Tracy Chapman's voice meets the raw emotion and soul of India Arie, You don't say? but with the vocal range of Bruno Mars... I just shat blood. with an extra dose of crack Oh, I see. On crack. lol Why do you keep LOLing at everything? (so I'm told.) It doesn't count if you told yourself. I'm not too fond of restricting myself to one genre..I just play to get my emotions out...keeps me sane, if you know what I mean Uh, I guess. lol Really, guy, that's your fourth LOL.

anyhoos, here's a few links where you can hear some of my stuff.

www.myspace.com/xxxxxxxxxxxx OK, for real, you're a grown man and you're on MySpace?
soundcloud: /xxxxxxxxxxxx

hope to hear from ya!!

Xxxxx X.



  • Location: public place
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



You press the first valve down,


Date: 2012-06-10, 8:30AM CDT
Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?]

"the music goes round and round", as referred to the lyric of the famous song by Tommy Dorsey, and others, but his recording does not DO it. And whose does? MINE does, Right, because you're better at playing Tommy Dorsey songs than Tommy Dorsey was at playing Tommy Dorsey songs. I have a machine that modulates mono into a circular sound stage. That makes zero sense. Info, xxx-xxx-xxxx, days.
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



And guess who needs a whole band!

TOURING BASS PLAYER WANTED (MN/ WI)


Date: 2012-06-09, 9:32PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org


WE ARE AN ORIGINAL ALTERNATIVE POP/ROCK BAND.
WE ARE RELEASING A FULL-LENGTH ALBUM THIS SUMMER.

IF YOU'RE INFLUENCED BY BANDS LIKE PARAMORE, JIMMY EAT WORLD, TAKING BACK SUNDAY, ALL TIME LOW... YOU WILL ENJOY PLAYING WITH US.

MUST BE 18+
MUST HAVE A CAR
MUST BE RESPONSIBLE
MUST BE ABLE TO LEARN MUSIC (PREFERABLY BY EAR) ((WE CAN SUPPLY SEPARATE THE BASS TRACKS FOR EACH SONG, TO MAKE IT EASIER))
MUST NOT BE AN ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG USER
MUST HAVE PROFESSIONAL GEAR
MUST HAVE STAGE PRESENCE
MUST BE AVAILABLE!


WHAT TO EXPECT:

WE WOULD LIKE TO BOOK A SMALLER MIDWEST TOUR THIS SUMMER TO SUPPORT THE ALBUM RELEASE, ALONG WITH PLAYING A FEW FESTIVALS & OTHER MISC. SHOWS.


IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, PLEASE EMAIL US WITH YOUR NAME AND TELEPHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH A LINK TO VIDEOS WE CAN WATCH OF YOU PLAYING.

www.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
  • Location: MN/ WI
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


GUITAR PLAYER wanted Pop/Rock (WI/MN)


Date: 2012-06-09, 9:32PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

WE ARE AN ORIGINAL ALTERNATIVE POP/ROCK BAND.
WE ARE RELEASING A FULL-LENGTH ALBUM THIS SUMMER.

IF YOU'RE INFLUENCED BY BANDS LIKE PARAMORE, JIMMY EAT WORLD, TAKING BACK SUNDAY, ALL TIME LOW... YOU WILL ENJOY PLAYING WITH US.

WHAT TO EXPECT:

WE WOULD LIKE TO BOOK A SMALLER MIDWEST TOUR THIS SUMMER TO SUPPORT THE ALBUM RELEASE, ALONG WITH PLAYING A FEW FESTIVALS & OTHER MISC. SHOWS.


IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, PLEASE EMAIL US WITH YOUR NAME AND TELEPHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH A LINK TO VIDEOS WE CAN WATCH OF YOU PLAYING.

www.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com




What We Expect:

MUST BE 18+
MUST HAVE A CAR
MUST BE RESPONSIBLE
MUST BE ABLE TO LEARN MUSIC (PREFERABLY BY EAR) ((WE CAN SUPPLY SEPARATE THE BASS TRACKS FOR EACH SONG, TO MAKE IT EASIER))
MUST NOT BE AN ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG USER
MUST HAVE PROFESSIONAL GEAR
MUST HAVE STAGE PRESENCE
MUST BE AVAILABLE!

  • Location: WI/MN
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


TOURING DRUMMER WANTED (MN/ WI)


Date: 2012-06-09, 9:32PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

WANT TO PLAY SHOWS WITH US?

WE ARE AN ORIGINAL ALTERNATIVE POP/ROCK BAND.
WE ARE RELEASING A FULL-LENGTH ALBUM THIS SUMMER.

IF YOU'RE INFLUENCED BY BANDS LIKE PARAMORE, JIMMY EAT WORLD, TAKING BACK SUNDAY, ALL TIME LOW... YOU WILL ENJOY PLAYING WITH US.

MUST BE 18+
MUST HAVE A CAR
MUST BE RESPONSIBLE
MUST KNOW HOW TO PLAY TO A CLICK/METRONOME
MUST BE ABLE TO LEARN MUSIC (PREFERABLY BY EAR)
MUST NOT BE AN ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG USER
MUST HAVE PROFESSIONAL GEAR
MUST PLAY DOUBLE BASS
MUST HAVE STAGE PRESENCE
MUST BE AVAILABLE!


WHAT TO EXPECT:

WE WOULD LIKE TO BOOK A SMALLER MIDWEST TOUR THIS SUMMER TO SUPPORT THE ALBUM RELEASE, ALONG WITH PLAYING A FEW FESTIVALS & OTHER MISC. SHOWS.


IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, PLEASE EMAIL US WITH YOUR NAME AND TELEPHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH A LINK TO VIDEOS WE CAN WATCH OF YOU PLAYING.

thanks!

www.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
  • Location: MN/ WI
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


Drummer Looking (Western Suburbs)


Date: 2012-06-07, 10:47AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Drummer guy looking for an amateur ((French amateur "lover of", from Old French and ultimately from Latin amatorem nom. amator, "lover") is generally considered a person attached to a particular pursuit, study, or science, without pay) band or group of musicians that just want to enjoy the occasional jam session. If something should come of it, so be it. Otherwise, let's just have fun.

contact Xxxx at xxx.xxx.xxxx


  • Location: Western Suburbs
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



This one is just disturbing.

i will be your groupie (around nw area)


Date: 2012-06-07, 4:52AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

does your band want higher fans? I've never been adverse to people who appreciate my music also engaging in some recreational ganj rocking but I've also never made it a requirement. Why do you ask? would a cute gal at you're shows make you look more popular? UUUhhh... How do I answer that exactly? I mean, I don't mind "cute girls" but, at the same time, I'm pretty sure that having just, you know, more people in general in attendance would make a band look more popular. I mean, think about: One cute girl. Ten people of varying attractiveness. One cute girl. Ten people of varying attractiveness. The band with the ten people watching them is going to look more popular. I am newly abandoned Lil' Jon What? I am newly abandoned Like an animal? and need to see some shows and have some enjoyable times

I'll go to shows n practices UUUhhh... Huh. email me! I don't think that's a good idea. You're kind of creepy and misguided and you make my stomach feel ooky.


  • Location: around nw area
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

3 comments:

  1. http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/muc/3068191290.html

    What kinda scam is this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoops, my bad. Finally got the link to work.
      Looks like it could be the same gal, hard to tell, though considering the one for "nw area" is duck-facing it up for the camera and the one from Oldtown is, um, not as unattractive.
      If this is a new kind of scam, I'd be interested in learning the parameters of it. Strikes me that it could be akin to one of those escort service-type arrangements wherein it's understood that there is no sex on the table, it's simply a service for people to have a companion for a night out. So maybe some entrepreneurial young lady / ladies thought to get together and have bands pay them to come to shows to make them look more popular than they are, like those people who used to get on Craigslist and brag about how they could get your band a thousand or so MySpace fans back in the day.
      Or maybe this chick is lonely and bonkers. There's that, too.

      Delete

 
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