30 April, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

I am on maybe two hours of sleep this morning. It seems like all weekend was an insomnia marathon. Let me know if these are subpar.

I need violin lessons (saint paul)


Date: 2012-04-29, 11:46AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I need someone who has time to not only teach me violin but to practice with me each week, to help me get into a routine.
If possible I know its asking alot.
I also don't have money to pay you, right now. And then he heard the sound of crickets chirping.
I'm unemployed and the semester just ended. No extra money. No "extra" money. Mofo, you aint got a job. You've got just no money.
In fact all my bills are past due, WWWhhhaaattt??? and accounts all empty. And you're in the musicians' section of Craigslist and not the employment one why?
I really need something positive in my life, Yeah, like a goddamned job. I am tired of my violin collecting dust. Then pawn it.
If you have any free time and patience then email me and lets Take you down to Starbucks and grab you an application? make music! No, I like my idea, better.



  • Location: saint paul
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



WEIRDO MUSIC (MPLS-WHITTIER)

Oh, hey, it's my neighborhood again.

Date: 2012-04-28, 9:14PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

want to make music that sounds like a stark figure that steps out of the shadows to menace you with a strange baton. OK OK OK, I know I talk that kind of shit all the time when I do the record reviews so if I tell him not to do that, I'll kind of look like a hypocrite with only the flimsy and easily-deflated defense that describing what one sees in one's mind's eye when listening to a record and attempting to recruit potential bandmates are two totally different things. I get that. So, I can't tell him to not do that.
But still...


drone - noise - unusual pop ? - looking at shoe You mean shoe gaze? sure ok ok

me: 25 male(ish) "(ish)"? Just level with me, guy... Tranny? bass guitar (good at) - accordion (not good at, plays upside down) Maybe if you played it right side up, you'd be better at it.
y'all: ? ??

adventurous, nice, feminst is best ?

good tunes: cardiacs, they might be giants, shonen knife, krallice, the body, beefheart, boris, kate bush whatever you like to listen to
  • Location: MPLS-WHITTIER
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


And our "Included Just So Charlie Could Make One Joke" award goes to...

drummer for melodic hard rock band wanted (mpls)


Date: 2012-04-27, 10:42PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

This is an extremely serious project with high quality musicians. Must work well with a metronome. This would be avenged sevenfold meets shinedown type Shit. You can say that again.* If you don't have extreme confidence don' t reply.

* Come on. That was an open goal. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't take that one.
  • Location: mpls
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


And our "This Guy Was Tripping Balls When He Posted This Ad" award goes to...

Singers for Electronic (hopkins to west)


Date: 2012-04-27, 4:03PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I Design electronic music. Sorry no standard "constant kick/club"

Considering vocalist, music varies mostly constant to a certain kind of atmosphere.

Give some contact, also connected to other electronic artists. hmm, could be fun.

demo ( u ) please. Talent welcome.


  • Location: hopkins to west
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Our next entrants just couldn't find a way to put this all into one ad.

DJ/Turntablist Wanted for Original Band (Minneapolis)


Date: 2012-04-26, 11:06PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

We're a 2 piece blues band called Xxxxxxx Xxxx. You can hear our stuff at xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.bandcamp.com

We're talking about adding a 3rd member, and one of the only musicians we can agree on having as a 3rd is a good dj. OK, so you want a DJ. A musician not typically found in the blues but it could be interesting. So, I get it. The two of you agree that you need a DJ. What makes a good dj is highly subjective but we'll know it when we hear it. You don't have to crab scratch like Qbert but you should know what and who that is. Age/race unimportant but you should be able to hear how you'd play with us based on the type of music we do.
Got it, OK. A unique approach. And one you will abandon in three minutes with that ad over there →.

If you're interested please get in touch. Have your s--t together, have a car, be serious, and be able to play. Thanks!
  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Keyboardist/Organ player wanted for original band (Minneapolis)


Date: 2012-04-26, 11:09PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

We're a 2 piece blues band called Xxxxxxx Xxxx. You can hear our stuff at xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.bandcamp.com

We're talking about adding a 3rd member, and one of the only musicians we can agree on having as a 3rd is keyboardist, OK, I really do have to know: Who's the one between the two of you that shot down bassist but was okey-dokey with fucking DJ? by which we mean someone who has a good synth that can pull off decent vintage organ tones. Well, that and the ability to play said instrument. You'll be able to hear what we're doing and what we're going for from the music. If you can double up on additional percussion, like shakers and such, all the better. Vocals too? Tell us more. But the keys is what's most important/

If you're interested please get in touch. Have your s--t together, have a car, be serious, and be able to play. Thanks!
  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx
This next one is cool because I didn't know it was a thing.

Violin A Gram spring special (Twin Cities)


Date: 2012-04-26, 11:52AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Sizzling spring special. $55.00 includes three musical selections, personalized greeting and a rose.

www.violinagram.com

Minneapolis & St Paul

I accept Paypal
  • Location: Twin Cities
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Need keys and strings for rock band (Saint Paul)


Date: 2012-04-25, 1:32PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Hello my name is Xxxxxxx Xxxxxx and I'm searching for a Keyboardist and/or string player for the group I'm in. We're called Xxxx xx Xxxxxx and we Have the pussiest band name imaginable? are a rock band from the Saint Paul area looking to add some new players to our lineup. As of right now the band consists of lead guitar, bass, drums and our second guitarist/vocalist. None of whom can play a keyboard or string instrument? We play a somewhat alternative style of rock music (that on occassion can get pretty heavy I'm going to beg to differ.) that we characterize as "meditative rock" What? "meditative rock" What? "meditative rock" One more time for everybody in back. "meditative rock" Exactly why I begged to differ. and feel that keys and strings would add a great dimension to our sound. Again, still proving me correct. If you'd like to meet with us or sit in on a practice sometime we'd love to hear how things fit together.

We practice about three times a week and have a space for praticing at our home You guys live together? Like the Monkees? in Saint Paul complete with all the essentials to perform. We are all in our early twenties and would in theory prefer someone around our age I know, I know. This is normally the part where I go, 'I'm out,' and we all have a laugh but we passed me being out as soon as I read their band name. but really it's not that important so long as you are a skilled commited musician. Whatever your ethnicity/gender/religion or lack of the aformentioned we welcome you to audition for the band. We come from a diverse background and hope to bring that sense of diversity to our music and if that sounds like something you'd be interested in please let us know.

We recently completed our first demo and if you'd like to take a listen this is our facebook page Yes, I changed this link.



I'll look forward to hearing from you.



  • Location: Saint Paul
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



FREE MUSIC & BEER? (1621 Harmon Place)

When!?

Date: 2012-04-24, 5:49PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Philanthropic Rager!!! I hope that's not your band name.


1621 harmon place, minneapolis, mn 55403 OK.
Bad Medicine Productions Presents:
The ALL YOU CAN DRINK I just came. rage of Philanthropic proportions!!

Host: Quasar D. Slu & Move For Hunger
Featuring the talents of Bad Medicine Productions' local rock duo, DIKE FIGHT! Wait wait wait wait wait... You're telling me that I get to drink until my kidneys shut down and that there's a band called Dike Fight that will be playing while this happens!?
...
...
...
I just came again.


All monetary donations will be donated to West African Medical Missions Inc... Yeah yeah yeah, good deeds, humanitarian efforts, whatever. When is this thing?

Purpose: I don't care, when is it? Celebrate the inception of WAMMs Th'fuck is a WAMM and will it get between me and the booze? summer activities with the directors departure for Sierra Leone the following day

Activities: Drinking. Rage Face Type Rock Concert Meets Beats From the Streets

Location: 1621 Harmon Place, a warehouse in downtown Minneapolis Yes but when is it?

Cost: We have a suggested donation of $15 at the door, and $10 with 3 canned food items. Fine, whatever. When is it?

Provisions: (k-b-c) are free with entry while supplies last

(K )egs upon kegs of beer As long as it's not Bud Light or some other similar swill, I'll be there.
(B )oxes upon boxes of wine UUUhhh... I guess I can do that. But only after the beer is gone.
(C )rates upon crates of Liberian black pepper chicken Yeah, I'll probably have the munchies, so, yeah.

*Live Graffiti Artists Nobody gives a shit.

www.westafricanmedicalmissions.org Whatever. When is this thing?

Sponsored by Bad Medicine Productions I don't care who's sponsoring it, I want to know when it is!



Sponsored in part by Lucid Brewing TELL ME WHEN THIS IS HAPPENING! I HAVE SO LITTLE TO LIVE FOR AND I NEED THIS!

  • Location: 1621 Harmon Place I know where the goddamn it's at! Now tell me when it is!
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



FEMALE GUITARIST /VOCALS


Date: 2012-04-24, 1:06PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

CAPS LOCK ENGAGE! FEMALE VOCALIST WITH 4 YEARS DANCE ROCK BAND EXP ALSO CLASIC CURRENT ROCK, Classic current rock? I PLAY ACOUSTIC GUITAR AND KNOW ABOUT 100 SONGS Well, bully for you. (RYTHUM & VOCALS) I AM A SEASONED VOCALIST AND AM LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT FIT.... You know, that she actually said that in no way takes away from the "that's what she said" element. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOUR INTERESTED IN AUDITIONING ME... I AM LOOKING FOR A WORKING BAND THAT GIGS 10 OR MORE NIGHT A MONTH....

KNOW MATERIAL FROM PINK, KATY PERRY, GAGA, JOURNEY ACDC, JANET JACKSON, STYX, AREOSMITH, JOAN JETT, JANIS JOPLIN, HEART, CARRIE UND, THE LIST GOES OOOOOOOOON..........
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



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