02 April, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

By Jove, you can tell it's spring. Just look at this week's batch.

Why are there no drummers between ages 15-22? (Burnsville)

Date: 2012-04-02, 1:27AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I am a rhythm guitarist. That answers your question. I am 20 and male. I will pretty much jam anything Punk and Hard Rock and up. Heavy Metal is amazing and I love it. just let me know if you got an idea.

I am very open to ideas, but heres some ideas I have of musicians we could use.

Bongo Drummer
drum programmer OK, wait up. You're saying you want bongos, drums, and a drum machine? Is this a band or a fucking drum corps?
lead guitar
vocalist (clean) (male or female)
vocalist (harsh) (male or female)

If your interested or have any ideas then let me know on my email.
  • Location: Burnsville
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Once again, I'm foregoing the anonymization on this next one.

Sax player needed for established funk band (Woodbury)

Date: 2012-04-01, 9:50PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Established 9-piece funk band Menage A Neuf OK, let's get something straight. Neuf. For nine. Great. I've seen A Mighty Wind, too, so I get the whole "neuftet" joke. Thing is, though, that neuftet isn't a thing. It's either enneatet or nonatet. Your band could be eith Ménage à Ennea - which sounds positively dirty - or Ménage à Nona - which sounds like a sultry French brothel. But Neuf? Really? No. is looking for a new sax player. Our guy is moving out of the state. We've been together over two years, and have gigged all around the area. Here are some things you'll want to know:
1. You'll need to learn 55 songs by June. Charts will be provided via PDF, along with MP3s from which to learn. We have several originals.
2. Most of our songs call for a tenor sax, some call for bari. Ideally you have both and can play both. If all you play is alto we probably can't use you unless you're willing to rewrite all the parts yourself.
3. We rehearse in Woodbury (at my house) once a week. We have typically been gigging once or twice a month. There are cats in the house. This pertains to the band how?
4. Money from shows is split evenly ten ways. If you play with us you will receive one of these shares, even if it's your first show.
5. You need your own reliable transportation.
6. Ours is a drug-free band,
but if you drink responsibly you will fit in fine.

If you're interested please email a response and I will send you audition materials. In your email please give me a sense of your experience, your equipment, and your influences. You can check us out here:


Thanks for your consideration,
Manager, Menage A Neuf

OK, so the dick part of me wants to say something like "So that explains it!" but the dick part of me wants to say "Dibs on the one in green!"

  • Location: Woodbury
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

'Nothing left to lose' tour...

Date: 2012-04-01, 3:57PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Drummer seeks full time touring band SSSooo... you're not promoting a tour?

AAAnnnddd thirteen line breaks later... Here's the deal, I am a part time drummer with over 30yrs. experience in multiple styles of percussion. Due to an unforeseen change in my employment status You got shit-canned. It's OK to say it. I am now
considering a return to a full time music career. Uh, I don't know how to put this without sounding like, you know, my dad, but losing your job is not the time to "get the band back together". Midlife crisis notwithstanding, I think it's time you dusted off the old resumé and started posting in other sections of Craigslist. I'm determined to make the most out of this 'opportunity ' and would prefer to join an established f.t. working/touring band.
My primary experience ranges from 70s-80s rock, early west coast funk, country, chicago blues, and now ethnic festival music. Have excellent equipment, transportation, and references and am drug and ego free. This may be my last shot at the A-list so I'm pulling out all the stops. My god, it's like I'm watching a 1980s feel-good movie from when Michael Keaton still had hair. Only like minded serious players and/or seasoned vets need reply.
Thank you for your consideration.

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Any single male musicians looking to collaborate - 42-55 +/- (Mpls)

Date: 2012-04-01, 2:35PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Any single musicians looking to collaborate on song writing, singing, performing, production, etc. while perhaps looking for someone to spend your time and life with at the same time? UUUhhh... I decided to post here instead of women seeking men because I truly would love to be with and work with someone who understands those of us who are creative and musically inclined. This is kind of a place where people try to start bands, though. I am a female singer who also plays keyboard. If you're not an alcoholic HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (social ok), You know what we call "social drinkers" where I'm from? Boring. you have a job or other means of personal support, you're between approximately 42-55 (give or take a couple years either way - I'm 45), and your HWP, I had to look that up. It means "height-weight proportionate", probably a first in a musician wanted ad. drop me an email and we'll chat. I'm not really into rock or heavy metal. Well then I'm not really into you. I have a love for the old standards if that sparks anyone...blues, jazz, soul, R& B, pop, classic country, folk, etc.
  • Location: Mpls
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Can anyone teach me to Scream

Date: 2012-04-01, 1:03AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Hey everyone i am wanting to It's "I want", not "I am wanting". become a leadman for a heavy metal screamo band but i dont know if im screaming right i was wondering if there is anyone out there that would be willing to help teach me the propper ways to scream so i can start a band
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Any takers? Anybody? Anybody? How about you, there, anonymous poster from four days earlier?

Don't scream; learn to sing! (All)

Date: 2012-03-27, 12:10PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

To begin, your diaphram needs to expedite the tone. To ascertain wheather or not you do it correctly,
intonate the sequence "Tah---OOOuu000 ----Rahhhh, and TRILL the "R", as in the spanish word, "perro". Uh, the people who haven't taken Spanish classes won't have that frame of reference and thus, probably have not learned how to roll their Rs.
This puts your diaphram in the correct position to strike the tone.
Now, are there any more irrefutable classic suggestions? So, who am I to teach YOU? Well,then---teach ME.
Say something useful.
  • Location: All
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Stream of conciousness joyous noise (ALL)

Date: 2012-03-29, 1:19PM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Seriously? I'm just going to let this guy do his thing.
does not equate to MUSIC. It is not about "muscle memory". The better DAW software can beat you now, and it's getting better.
There are several standard song-patterns, and a bunch of omnipotent chord progressions BEYOND "power chords" that must be LEARNED,
before you are a musician. If you are so intimidated by generic legacy that you feel you really can't DO music, and must invent new methods
by exploring virtuoso noise, you will never amount to anything, musically. You write ten songs a week, you will actually never write one in
your whole lifetime, probably. You can't IGNORE what has gone before, because it went through and survived a strong filter of
public opinion and acceptance, and the CRAP disappeared. You want to tear it up on the music scene, deeply study the arrangements and
songs from "The Great Band Era", Benny Goodman, Hatty James, Artie Shaw, Glenn Miller, Glen Gray, Tommy Dorsey, Guy Lombardo,
and a hundred more.
Heard a "JAZZ-TEACHER" tell a group of respectful listeners, after playing a jazz riff on a "standard",
" You don't have to PLAY this music, but you need to learn the language".
" You don't have to learn the language, you need to PLAY it, and pray for ozmosis," I say.
----Long Live Paul Whiteman and Wilbur DeParis!

  • Location: ALL
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


Date: 2012-03-28, 12:06AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

22 year old politically charged vegan We're already not friends. loser who does nothing other than work and sit in his room and listen to music, who also happens to plays guitar, seeks people with whom to create weird music. The vegan/politics shit doesn't have to matter. Then why bring it up?

I love and hate Minneapolis at the same time. I hear you on that. Even if you are a vegan. I want to auditorily destroy this city and create an entirely new scene of thoughts and feelings which manifest into sound. AAAnnnddd we've found a hippy. I've played in bands since I was 14 and I have yet to find my end in music. That is what I seek. Musical fulfillment.

if you play anything, do anything. electronics, drums, whatever. respond. I'll respond after you eat a steak.

  • Location: NE
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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