20 February, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

Would you believe there were nearly sixteen of these damned things this week? That's just overkill. Anyhow, true to theory, it's been over 40°F all weekend and the Spotted Minneapolitan Weirdo woke from hibernation.

Background Singer Available (Minnesota)


Date: 2012-02-18, 8:30AM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

If more musicians would treat those who actually care enough to communicate with you and show up ready and on time for an audition as COLLEAGUES instead of UNDERLINGS, the independent music scene in Minnesota, specifically the Twin Cities area, might fare better. OK, so A) you're not actually posting as a background singer looking, I take it, and your title was just a clever ruse to get people to read your little hissy-fit-screed and B) how does the Twin Cities indie music scene need to fare better? Uh, Poli├ža have barely existed for a year now and they're already getting written up in Rolling Stone (if that means anything, to some people it does). The Twin Cities music scene, while, yes, I've found it mostly impenetrable and sometimes flaky, is one of the healthiest I've ever seen. (OK, so it's only the second one I've ever seen.) It's the home of Doomtree and Rhymesayers, Babes in Toyland and the Replacements and Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles, Twin/Tone Records and Amphetamine Reptile Records. Not a whole lot of room for improvement. But I digress, carry on. Recognize that the potential to do something great is there and think about working with the individual instead of immediately casting the person off. SSSooo... you went to an audition and didn't get the gig. The obvious exceptions to this would be that the person demonstrates a complete lack of skill and/or talent or displays a bad attitude. Hope you all will take this to heart next time someone auditions for your band. Nothing like getting rejected to inspire impotent Craigslist rants, eh?

  • Location: Minnesota
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Female singer/lyricist wanted.... (Minnetonka)


Date: 2012-02-17, 5:48PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Hello singers....acoustic guitar player looking to musically mix it up with a female singer that writes lyrics and melodies...

I desire only to collaborate on originals, not covers....I feel that what I have to offer as a musician is unique and original.... Wow. You're a special and unique snowflake. Just like every other musician.

My music is more Lydian, Ethereal and a little out of this world....I play with alternative tunings and tune to a different
frequency than A=440....this is a whole new musical experience for the right person.... Yeah, because nobody else in the band can tune to your weird bullshit setup.

Cosmic salutations...... Ellipses have only three periods, space cadet.



  • Location: Minnetonka
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
image 0
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Pop/Horror-punk band looking for guitar! (Minneapolis )


Date: 2012-02-17, 1:30AM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Hey everyone I'm Xxxx I play drums for the Female fronted pop/horror-punk band Xxxxxxxx Xxxxxx
I've been playing for 10 years and I'm endorsed by Ellis custom drum company out of st paul. You know, funnily enough? I don't care.
We are looking for a good experienced Guitarist. Well, hello.
...
What? Look, I'm bored. And if I have to play pop-punk to be not bored I'll do it. Maybe. OK, so I won't. Never mind.

Our influences are bands like: I am Ghost, Never heard of. The Misfits, Yes. Alkaline Trio, I've heard them a few times by accident and Scot T. vouches for them so I think I like them. AFI, Old school AFI, from when they were a hardcore band and not this weird emo shit they do now, I hope. No Doubt, You're a joke. Your taste in music is a joke. Your whole life is a joke. Tsunami Bomb, I thought that was a drink. Bad Religion I'm in. stuff like that.

Our Guitarist stepped down from the band, so we are looking for someone new! Well, hello again.
We are all experienced talented musicians that want to do music for a living HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- aaannnddd take a breather... and we need someone with the same drive ... and, go! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA! and want to do this. Maybe a little.
I'm 21 and the bassist is 24 and the singer is 25 so we are looking for someone around our age say 18-25. You. Fucking. Cock tease.

Guitarist must have middle to pro gear, transportation, income (help with merch and rent on the practice space), and a desire to play music for a living.

If you are interested in anything I put above hit me up, I liked the part where you said the Misfits and the other part where you said Bad Religion.
Text me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or email to the address listed above.
Thanks =)


  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


↓ TWO HOURS, FIFTY TWO MINUTES EARLIER ↓

Pop punk guitarist needed (Minneapolis)


Date: 2012-02-16, 10:38PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Xxxxxxxx Xxxxxx, an up and coming pop punk/horror punk group is seeking a new guitarist to complete the line up. We already have an ep recorded and are getting a full set together for shows. Influences: alkaline trio, tsunami bomb, misfits, no doubt, nofx, Oh, I get it. You posted a second time because you slipped up and mentioned NOFX in this post. I got it. OK. etc. please email if you have questions or want to hear an mp3. Thanks!

  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Wanted: other musicians to make mindblowing hazy pop joints (Minneapolis/SLP)

Oh, shit.

Date: 2012-02-16, 9:24PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Looking for synth/APC user + drummer + bassist + guitarist Hello. + anyone SSSooo... a whole band. who thinks they can contribute something excellent

I'm not really sure where the sound is going to go with the project, I'm a guitarist and vocalist who also dabbles in synths, though I'm not nearly as proficient in that area. Totally understandable. I speak Spanish as a second language and I fucking suck at it. I'd like to do some sunny balearic pop tinged with italo disco and k-pop overtones--it definitely needs fat analog sounds. I'm sorry, what? I'd like to do some sunny balearic pop tinged with italo disco and k-pop overtones--it definitely needs fat analog sounds. OK, you just made me Wikipedia all of that shit... OK, so really only Balearic pop and Italo disco, I know K-Pop and analog synths. Just to save my readers the the trouble of having to do that themselves, allow me to translate that into English: He wants to start a techno band. Maybe some R&B action thrown in there too, like Motown sound, Philly soul, funk and disco all wrapped into one package. There's a joke about sampling that goes right here, I'm just having trouble coming up with it.

On the other hand, dark ambient textures See? Techno. seem to be my forte, so maybe it could be some solar eclipse shit, No. It'll still be techno. where the best of both worlds come together like peanut butter and Nutella, Techno. or the Justice League and Justice Society. Techno.

My influences: Deerhunter/Atlas Sound, Washed Out (especially the Despicable Dogs remix), Tycho, Boards of Canada, New Order, Toro y Moi, M83, Cut Copy, Ford & Lopatin, elite gymnastics, Burial, Stars of the Lid, Bibio, Clams Casino, Jose Gonzalez, Sun Kil Moon, Delorean, Animal Collective, DJ Shadow, Daft Punk, the Radio Dept, Korallreven, A Sunny Day in Glasgow, My Bloody Valentine, Ride, Catherine Wheel, Low, the Magnetic Fields, Ulrich Schnauss, Bear In Heaven, Cocteau Twins, Neon Indian, labels like Captured Tracks, Ghostly, Acephale, etc. Techno.

If you're a guitarist, I am. a decent pedalboard is a must.

I want this to be the musical equivalent of Techno? the most unfuckwithable Techno? sandwich of all-time, maybe greater. Greater than techno?

Here are some demos I recorded if you're interested in hearing:  There was a link here. Did it sound like techno? Couldn't tell you. It was a Myspace player.

  • Location: Minneapolis/SLP
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Space Gurl Wanted (St. Paul, MN)


Date: 2012-02-16, 1:22PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Like School of Seven Bells, space pop, funk, shoegaze, club, rock, alternative and time travel? No, don't - Are we really going to have to do this? We are looking for our gurl singer for sometimes lead, sometimes backing and if you play the keys or guitar, or know how to navigate a spacecraft, No. Just stop. Be normal in your ad. You're looking for bandmates, ask for people who can play a particular instrument and don't be cutesy about it; leave the space-time continuum jokes at home. Not even NASA uses space-time continuum jokes in their ads and all they fucking do is deal with shit like the space-time continuum. If NASA doesn't do it, you shouldn't do it either, capiche? you are perfect. Writing, recording and playing!!!

Should also like chewing gum occasionally and blowing bubbles. Fuck off and don't come back until you've grown up a little.


  • Location: St. Paul, MN
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Female vocalist looking for an awesome band (Minneapolis)

It just keeps getting worse.

Date: 2012-02-16, 2:55AM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I want to sing
I want to be on stage
I want US to be awesome

I have desire
I have passion
I have presence
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back and pretend

Because I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever going to keep me down again

I'm not a diva, but I have confidence
I'm up for anything Anything?

  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


And the winner of this week's "Straight to the Point" award goes to...

Lets work on some Creative gritty stuff - fugazi television blackangel (MPLS)


Date: 2012-02-15, 6:33PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

You play something? you like good musics? lets talk.



  • Location: MPLS
  • it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx




I need a 3 piece band-$300 ( Minneapolis area)


Date: 2012-02-13, 10:18PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Hello,
I'm looking for a 3 piece band for gigs/videos and here's my proposal.
I'm looking to play my original tunes plus a few cool covers monthly in MN(I'm an acoustic solo touring artist from Nashville, TN)... I'll pay each peson $100 for playing the gigs. How many gigs? Just learn 4 or 5 of my tunes and we can play a few of the tunes you already know and this'll be a regular thing.

telecaster tune
Unmanned Police Drones
-this is about things that are soon to be arriving in America Wow. I don't know whether to go with a paranoia joke or a sci-fi joke. Good job.
There was a link here.

Banjo tune
No More War
-this is about War and I'm against War Hadn't picked that up, thanks for clarifying.
There was a link here.

Slide and Resophonic guitar tune
Black Gold
-I wrote this during the Gulf Oil Disaster
There was a link here.

thanks
www.xxxxxxxxxxx.com

  • Location: Minneapolis area
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
image 0image 1
image 2
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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