06 February, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

I'm not going to lie, mon petit illiterati: Pickin's. They was slim, today.

$$ seeking guitar player $$ (cities)


Date: 2012-02-06, 6:41AM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Seeking guitar [raises hand] [stops midway] [pulls hand back down] I'm going to hate this, aren't I? for NEW DANCE MUSIC, Called it. KDWD,,B96. Are those radio stations or did you just have a seizure on the keyboard? if your older and dont like or dont know Pink, I think she's hot, I'll grant her that much. Usher, I think I heard one of his songs once. Lady Ga Ga, Never got what the big deal was. It's annoying disco music. I find it easy to ignore. Ce lo, You spelled it wrong. Bruno Mars Like having your ears sodomized with a lawn rake. PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT REPLY. Well, I think we can consider the matter resolved, can't we? I have gigs, not gigs lined up but I have gigs NOW!!! DUKES!!! Please contact me by phone xxx xxx xxxx thanks WE WILL NOT REPLY TO ANY EMAILS AT ALL. Oh, shit. And here I just emailed you. God Bless.

  • Location: cities
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Guitarist looking for people to jam with. (SP)


Date: 2012-02-05, 7:26PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

I'm looking for people with similar taste in music to jam with or even just hang out if you're cool. Sounds reasonable. I mainly play metal, not big into death metal though, I also like punk and rock.
The last band I was in tryouts for a bass player consisted of destroying a broken tv. OK, Wendy O. Williams, what the fuck does any of that have to do with playing bass? I'm just looking to have fun and meet like minded people. I know, I know, so am I. But listen, while I had such high hopes for us, you turned out to be an idiot. I'm sorry. I've been playing guitar for over 10 years, I can learn songs real quick I've also written some stuff too.

  • Location: SP
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Magickal Music Creation (North Metro)

Magick? Like that Aleister Crowley shit? Tell me more.

Date: 2012-02-05, 12:49AM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Multi-talented producer/drummer/guitarist seeks musician collaborators who are on a spiritual path. I'm out.

Professional boundaries and communication is important. Don't touch my stuff because I said so.

Preference for incense is desirable. You sound like a goddamned hippie.

Chemicals including alcohol are not welcome. Your balls called. They said that you could pick them up from your wife's purse whenever you wanted to hit the liquor store.

Pure hearts and True Will are requisites. What?

Bass, Guitar, Keys and Vocals needed. No.

Namaste. Is that your name or how you say "amen" or whatever in your religion?


  • Location: North Metro
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Punk Jazz Indie (Minneapolis)

SSSooo... like the Jesus Lizard? Because I'm "down".
Get it? Because the Jes- named one of their rec- No? No good? Not working for you? Well, fuck you, then.

Date: 2012-02-02, 3:48PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Artist designer looking to branch out musically. Fair enough. Female singer in her 30's. [turns around, wets comb, slicks back hair, pops collar, turns back around] Well... hello. I have a bit of angst, I'm out. slightly jaded I already said I'm out. + plenty of girl/boy troubles, Look, it's just not going to work out. harried experiences It's not me, it's you. + beautiful moments too. No. No. It's too late for that now, you're just embarrassing yourself. Jot down lyrics + sing to myself while walking... Send a subject idea + I'll craft a song. I, uh, can kind of do that on my own. Open to playing it straight or fun concepts on stage. Say what? Yeah, I get it that many people prefer to join up with "known talent," as in a serious recording what-not. A "what-not". Do you mean "band"? This could be a fun side project, can be a duo or beyond. Electronic grooves + minimal voice, ok. Great with timing, & enjoy instrumental, spoken word + experimental. What? Open to help with your stage set-up, ambient elements. Unconventional. Would be up to participate in an art performance based musical experimentation, too. SSSooo... stripping?

  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Need, Guitar Player, Singer, Drummer, Bass anything (Isanti)


Date: 2012-01-31, 2:32PM CST
Reply to: xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@comm.craigslist.org

Looking for members anyone that can play message me, Slow down there, Sparky. You sound desperate. I have an album under way, That explains it. songs that have been wrote so far are. True, Bottom Out, Blood Nights. Uh, the titles tell me nothing. I mean, if I were going to judge a book by its cover, I'd actually have to make less than flattering assumptions about your song writing capabilities. Like i said i need member anyone that can play anything let me know. I have been in and out of bands for awhile playing guitar, drums and singing i can do all those things just let me know, If you can do all those things, why not just do all those things? i am almost 17 Oh. ages im looking for is anyone from 15 all the way to 20 if u are a few over 20 and are still wanting in i will overlook your age prob, Excuse me? My "age prob"? Listen up, Dickie Ascot: My "age prob"? That'll be your "age prob", too, in about fourteen years. It's called time, asshole. Further, what makes you think that any self-respecting adult - with an "age prob" - continued reading this ad past the point where you said, by way of noting your age, that you're still in high school? but i really want to get a band going a hopefully make and album some day and release it to the public and play shows and shit. Yeah, man, all that shit. I play and write, Hard rock, Metal, Ballads, Classic rock all of that let me know what you think Text Me or email me.
Cell: xxx-xxx-xxxx.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Xxx-Xxxxxx/xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Yes, I changed that link.
This is my band facebook there is and old song i wrote that aint on the album anymore but if you go to my reg page there is me and my friend playing Knocking on Heavens Door. No.

  • Location: Isanti
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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