09 January, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

The theory is holding true: Yesterday we were 21°F above the average for the year and look at all the weirdness going on in today's ads.

Atheist Singer looking for like-minded musicians (Minneapolis)


Date: 2012-01-07, 9:35PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

I'm a solid experienced male singer in my thirties looking for a good local band. Sounds reasonable. Originals or covers. I personally wouldn't play covers but, hey, whatever. You don't have to be an atheist too. Good to know you're open minded. I get along with all types of people. Again? I get along with all types of people. And now the whole thing. You don't have to be an atheist too. I get along with all types of people. AAAnnnddd... GO! I just don't want to deal with any more religious fanatics who can't shut the fuck up about their silly religious theories. Christ, enough already people. There has to be someone in this city who doesn't worship a fucking zombie! Way to be a fucking drama queen while trying to make friends, guy. I like anything good, especially music with a style that is hard to label. Working or soon to be working covers are okay too. I have done it all, soft to hard. That's what she said. Everything but rap/hip hop. Drop me a line!

  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


To be filed under "What?"

Art Rock


Date: 2012-01-07, 9:00PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Art rock. For the love and travel of it. What?

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Xxxxxxxx Needs A Lady Bass Player (Maplewood/Minneapolis/St. Paul)


Date: 2012-01-06, 5:43PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Local rock and roll band in good standing needs a wonderful lady, like yourself, Like me? to play bass. How imaginative a role for a female member of your boys' club! Why a "lady"? Because we Can't get by on our music alone and have thus turned to flesh peddling? believe the presence of a lady Will bring all the boys to the yard? playing bass Is hot? with backing vocals may take our Otherwise less than promising band and turn us into an over night sensation thanks to our inclusion of "the hot chick"? sound to higher levels. Care to weigh in on that, Iceman? The bass player in Xxxxxxxx will have A nice rack? complete creative control to breathe Softly into our ears as she whispers gentle nothings? her style into our sound.

A little bit about the band. We just kicked out our bassist because he was a boy and had a penis. That wasn't drawing much attention. So we kicked him out to make room for a busty tart in five inch heels. Our first live show was a Battle of Bands back in August 2011 and we emerged as the victors, and more invigorated. We won as a two-piece, vocals, drums and guitar. We draft our own artwork. We have always wanted Chicks. that low-end bass groove. Several bass players have not worked out for various reasons, All of those reasons being that they were boys with penises. so we quit looking for a while.

We practice often to jam-out new songs and we converted two small crowds post August. In addition, we recorded demo videos and audio in October 2011. Final album is not yet complete. Several shows are coming up in 2012. We have a website (www.xxxxxxxx.tc), and we are on Facebook and Twitter. Age requirements are 25-45 years. You must be Hot. a professional, prepared musician with the willingness to Be our girlfriend. practice as professionalism and preparation dictates. Practice space is located in Maplewood.

We respect other people's time immensely (as well as our own time). Check out our sound online, and if you dig it and it speaks to a project you might want to take on, please contact us soon.

Respectfully,


Xxxx X.
Xxxxxxxx
www.xxxxxxxx.tc
xxx-xxx-xxxx

  • Location: Maplewood/Minneapolis/St. Paul
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


To be filed under "What?"

re: great drummer (musicians)


Date: 2012-01-05, 11:32AM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

chaz.do see what i mean. What?

  • Location: musicians
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Looking for male or female bass player (Bloomington)


Date: 2012-01-03, 4:46PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

We are a all girl band (as of now) and looking more for a male bass player That's right: We're dealing with exactly the opposite of the ad before the last one. And even better? Psst! I'm a male! but will take female if it's the right fit. Believe me, sweetheart, it's going to fit.
What!? Look, we never made a rule about me not taking it there, alright?

We play soul, funk and throw in some rock just to pick it up at times....just think amy winehouse, Meh. james brown, I have his 40 Greatest Hits. I listened to it forty times. I'm now solidly burnt out on James Brown until I'm in my forties. john legend, Would you believe it? I still have never heard a single one of his songs. RHP, I think you mean RHCP and no. incubus, OK, show of hands: Which one of you is still twelve and likes this band only because you think the singer is totes cute? sharon jones, Yes. raphael saadiq, Who? joss stone,,, I'm not even going to say anything about Joss Stone, I'm going to point out that an ellipsis is three periods, not commas. etc

Please send us some recordings and some pictures. Lady, I'm not so sure you want the pictures I have for you. sorry but you have to play and look good. I'm out. we are 3 hot ladies I'm in again. ages ranging from 29 - up.
Age isn't important to us but you must be able to laid down a tight groove and be a good looking I'm out again. as well.
We have a studio with a kitchen! No no no, honey, you misunderstood. That room connected to the kitchen is the dining room. That's where you bring me my supper.
OK! Sorry! Jesus, that was the last one! I swear!
Oh, and just a note, I've regularly cooked for and served every one of my girlfriends and a handful of my platonic lady friends. So, for me, that joke was like reparations.
What!? Now I can't do racial humor, either?
We like to cook and drink wine when we take a dinner break...so if you know a little bit about cooking that is a plus. If not you can just sit back and enjoy some goodies I like how that sounds dirty. Because I made it sound dirty in my head. And by pointing it out to you, it probably sounds dirty to you, too, now. (we all pitch in for food and drink).


Hope to hear from you soon. Sure, baby, I'll call you.

Xxxxxxxx



  • Location: Bloomington
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



myspace? (anywhere)


Date: 2012-01-02, 11:08PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

can u fix my myspace? Yeah, it's easy. All you gotta do is switch to Facebook because it's not 2004 anymore. how much do you charge Eighty bajillion dollars. and send me a link to one you did. thanks.

  • Location: anywhere
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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