02 January, 2012

Your weekly musicians' ads.

Well, oddly enough, my theory about weather and weirdos is holding true, what with there being snow on the ground and all. I mean, look at today's batch. These are like fucking table scraps, really. There's one guy on CL right now who otherwise deserves to be brutalized if it weren't for the fact that he has graced our hallowed pages here thrice before and he's actually put together a band fairly swiftly. That and he repeats himself over and over thus that would force me to repeat myself. And his ads are just boring anymore.
This is what's left.

bass player needed for XXXXXXXXXX & XXXXXXX BAND (minneapple)

Date: 2011-12-30, 3:36PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

XXXXXXXXXX & XXXXXXX need a bass player. Xxx and Xxx are at it again. I wasn't aware of the first time you were "at it".
call xxx-xxx-xxxx and talk to Xxx about playing with a really cool original band.

We sound just like ELKO. Who?

recording is fun. we should record too.

  • Location: minneapple
  • it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Soulful female vocalist looking for musicians

Date: 2011-12-29, 9:49PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

32 year old, fun, outgoing female Read: "Recently divorced... " looking for musicians to jam with and eventually perform live. Read: "... and need to get out of the house." I don't have performance experience Read: "I'm drinking wine at ten 'til ten on a Thursday night and YouTubing Adele videos." and this would be a totally new experience for me as far as jamming with live musicians. Read: "I haven't considered that thirty two is probably not an appropriate age to determine whether or not I can sing on a stage." So if you are new to this too, great! Read: "That way, neither of us feels too bad when this project stagnates at the 'meet up for coffee and talk about it' stage." Or Read: "No, fuck it. No. I told myself I was going to go all the way through with this." if you are interested in mentoring me a little bit, that's great too!! Read: "I'm so imagining myself holding a Grammy and thanking you right now." I would need to build a little confidence in singing live but totally ready for the challenge. Read: "After half a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, I'm ready for any goddamned thing." Lets have fun and get creative. Read: "I started a knitting club once. But that fell apart, too." Im open to a variety of music but am heavily influenced by fiona apple, Amy Winehouse, Billie holiday, Aretha franklin, ray Charles, Dina Washington, Adele, etc...my vocals are best with soul, r&b, jazz, & blues. Read: "I have one of those radios that works in the shower." I'm not flaky, so you can count on me to be committed. Read: "Unlike my ex-husband." I don't have a place to practice at this point. Read: "My neighbors told me that they can hear me through the walls and, even though they said it was fine, I was totes embarrassed." Thanks!

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

This next guy? I like this next guy.

Let's thrash (Norf Minneaps)

Date: 2011-12-28, 1:05PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Are you a drummer looking to slap skins like Wilt Chamberlin? Do you enjoy playing fast as fuck? Do you want to write ten minutes worth of material and scare the shit out of some unsuspecting buttholes at an open mic night, somewhere in the next couple of months? No shit: That's actually how I got started. Well today is your lucky day, because I would love to do all of that shit with you. We'll thrash in a basement somewhere until we create some semi-coherent material, write lyrics about crime, and then see if we can ruin someones house party with it. No shit: That's actually what I did after the open-mic stage. If all else fails, we can buy a van, blast Misery Index, I fucking love this guy. start a fight with some mall kids and go to jail together. If you're interested, get ahold of me, and start practicing your high fives.

Godspeed, and may all of your thrash be progressive.

  • Location: Norf Minneaps
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

And then he posts two pictures of himself pissing outside. Have I mentioned how much I love this guy?
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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