26 January, 2012

This is our two dozen hundredth post.

Thank fuck.
I've been waiting for this.
You see, for a while, and I know it shows, I've been on a teeter-totter between writer's block and simply having nothing to talk about. They're kind of the same thing, yeah, but whatever. And then I come here every day - just check the archives - and I fake it for a little while by posting a YouTube video and a dick joke. Basically, I've been ripping you off.
And I can make excuses, my little illiterati, about how I'm in the office, at work, where I have other things to do, but we all know that I don't have a whole lot to do; I have one of the few jobs out there where I'm more or less paid to wait for something to happen and in the meantime, I get to watch Hulu, do my laundry, and make the occasional fancy brunch.
And for all this time on my hands, I've had to sacrifice seclusion; I don't get too many chances to record and so the idea of having a music blog with a proposed focus on DIY home recording... well, it's not two thousand nine or ten, anymore. I don't have roommates who couldn't give a shit less about the noise; I don't have a big, open, ambient space with structural anomalies; and I'm a thirty one year old man, meaning getting fucked up and hiding in a basement for days on end, chain smoking and playing a mix over and over and over again isn't cute anymore.
What's also become really depressing is that the weekly musicians' ads are the most popular feature on this blog; something they weren't intended to be. For some reason, people like these. And they like them a lot more than anything else that goes on here. But, hey, it's musically related and it is shenanigans calling. Technically, I get a pass, though I do wish this blog was noted more for the intended focus on DIY home recording. But I accept that that's not going to happen when I don't record as often as I used to.
And we've had our fun with other features. NSFWednesday, the Friday Piss Offs, the Mail Order Bride Fund Raiser, the Obligatory Tuesdays, the ten-part drum programming tutorial, the Incident Reports, the podcast that I swore was going to come back but never did, the record reviews, blah blah blah. But people don't come here for those, they come here for the musicians' ads. C'est la vie.
And if you're not a daily reader, if you come here only on Mondays, you probably don't know that the other six days out of the week are filled with all kinds of stupid shit. There are pictures of my cooking, there are pictures from my sketch book, I have sex and then complain about it, I have sex and express disbelief that I did, I regularly demonstrate that, yes, I've been to YouTube and I know how to embed a video, I make fun of my dad, all the other stuff that I do when I'm not avidly beating the shit out of ads.
But here's the thing: I'm out of steam.
Really. That's all there is to it: I'm out of steam.
Sound Design and Assembly has been online since 2007 and it's been updated daily since 2009. Daily. Once per day at minimum and that's usually when I'm at work. Hell, I got away with five hundred fifty nine posts last year and then eight hundred twenty eight posts the year before that. That's a lot. There are far more popular blogs whose authors post maybe once or twice per month. (To be fair, that's usually because they post far larger, longer pieces that take time to research, draft, and edit whereas I prefer to take the ready, fire, aim approach.) There are tumblrs out there that have hundreds even thousands of followers yet they don't come up with anything original, just a lot of copy & paste work seven or eight times a day. (Sure, I'm bitter. I'm also honest enough to admit that probably half of my posts lately have been getting a little tumblrific.) The idea of blogging every day - we're talking a new idea, a new topic, and weighing in at a thousand to fifteen hundred words - was one that has proven unsustainable. Sure, I did it for the last three years out of the five this blog has been up and active, and some folks might say (♩ That I'm no good... ♩) that even sustaining a blog for that long is notable, even if it is a terrific waste of time. But it hasn't worked. I just put on a lot of mileage in a short amount of time.
In essence, I've rolled over the odometer.
I don't know how else to put it: I'm out of ideas. That's all there is to it.
Not only am I out of ideas, I rarely go out and get them.
I finally have a bar I like so I don't go out carousing at other locales unless I need to, so there are no adventures there.
I'm not "new in town" anymore so I don't get weirded out by things much, so there are no adventures there.
There's rarely a show that I'm interested in seeing - or even paying money for just to get in and socialize - so there are no adventures there.
And, yeah, I am home most nights. Hey, it's cheaper to eat and drink there. This is, of course, at the expense of going out and doing something but, hey, I've had my seven-nights-per-week-at-the-bar phase. I've done Taco Bell one night, Papa John's the next, Taco Bell the night after that, and then Burger King for a "change of pace". (And just looking at that last sentence is positively disgusting to me. Jesus, forget the drinking, drugging, and chain smoking sprees, it was my dietary choices that should have killed me.) So, now, I make a pork chop or a chicken breast, fix a salad along the side, pour a glass of scotch, watch the news, and putz about the house until it's time for bed. It's not the most exciting life but, hey, it's healthier on both the body and wallet. And being home all the time generally means I'm free all the time. Like last night, for example. A young lady called me up, wanted to meet up. So we grabbed a coffee, came back here, went over to her place. We got to talk, got to hang out. And since I don't do jack shit, I'm free to meet her again on Sunday night.
See? I'm not completely boring. Some of the stories I tell you... You know I still can get myself in a fair amount of trouble when I put my mind to it.
But back to the point, yes yes yes. Out of ideas, posting daily, that old thing.
I can't keep going -
OK, before you throw yourselves out the window, mon petit illiterati, let me finish.
I can't keep going at this rate.
So, while I'm not quitting entirely, I am quitting posting daily.
What does this mean? Well, for me it means that I'm not going to post unless I get an idea or have something worthwhile to talk about. If that means I go a week between posts, then I go a week between posts. If that means I post every two weeks, once a month? So be it. It's time to start focusing on quality rather than quantity.
For you, this probably means the collapse of your entire goddamned universe so allow me to assuage that dread by telling you that musicians' ads will still come out every Monday. They're a gold mine after all and the only reason the majority of you even show up in the first goddamned place. Even if you are a fair weather illiterati, you're still my illiterati, and I could never betray you.
OK, well maybe one or two of you. And I think that there's, like, two or three of you that I would just love to do things... that... the most... and then the thing... and... just... UGH! You'd have to burn your sheets afterward is what I'm saying. As long as, you know, we're saying.
So there it is. That's how it's going to be. And if you don't like it? Tough shit. It's like this: There are two thousand three hundred ninety nine other posts here. Hell, the very first post is just one giant collection of all of my old posts from when this started as a MySpace blog, so I think that puts this old clunker of a blog up to something like twenty five hundred posts. So there's plenty of stuff to read while you wait for me (or any of the other contributing authors) to put up something new.
There it is. That's the big announcement. That's what I've been peppering the posts with cryptic little clues about for about three months, maybe longer, now. So, why don't you all go back outside while it's sunny and I'll see you when I see you.


  1. Jeez, and here I was thinking I'd never get to finish my Top whatever list of 2011.


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