25 January, 2012

Is it safe? No, it's Not Safe For Wednesday.

It's been a long while since we enjoyed NSFWednesday, mon petit illiterati. And this one is...
OK, let's say that you Google Sarah Silverman. Let's say that this somehow brings you to an anti-Semitic porno site.
No.
You read that right.
You see, yesterday, I don't know how it happened, I forgot how it happened because I spent the majority of my late morning / early afternoon intrigued and perplexed by the fact that there was an anti-Semitic porno site. Here was a large cache of beautiful naked women (of which I'm a fan) who all happen to be Jewish (I never knew so many Jewish women were in porn - the religious background of women rarely is a concern when I watch porn) and they're being categorized / filed by a really disgusting anti-Semite and an avid reader who keeps leaving remarks about post-revolution brothels. There's also a bevy of comments from a Jewish woman who... I'll let her explain it:

Calmly step back from your computer. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath, inhaling through the nose for four beats and exhaling through the mouth for five. Open your eyes, stare your cat straight in the eye, and say it loud, say it proud: WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT.
And she's not the only Jewess (Can I say Jewess? Is that - Is that, you know, kosher?) who's into it. There are women - plural, multiple - who claim they are Jewish and submit their photos to this site. They do. They really do.
I mean, it's really fucked up. It's like an entirely different universe.
So here I am, sucked into this vortex of - I don't even know what it is I'm in - looking at naked women, just scads, oodles of naked women and, like I said, I simply adore naked women, almost to a fault - well, fuck, let's face it: to a fault. That fault being that I'm not leaving the anti-Semitic porn site. Am I offended and grossed out by the commentary that accompanies the pictures of naked women? Yes. Am I leaving because of that? No. Why? Because there's just too damned many naked women.
Also? Some of these are celebrities and occasionally one pops up that I didn't know was Jewish and I find myself thinking, Oh, I didn't know they were Jewish. It's not like a thing for me, I don't have to know they're Jewish. It's like when you find out somebody's Canadian.
OK, so the point at hand: Naked women. Some of which are older than my grandmothers right now. We're talking 1950s, 60s pin ups and 70s porn starlets. Naked. Naked, the lot of them. And, yes, they are Jewish. And, yes, they are being presented by and commented on by a paranoid anti-Semitic conspiracy theorist with the occasional egging on from an even bigger anti-Semite and a Jewish woman who on a good day is troublingly conflicted and on less than good days... Well, I'll let Larry David say it because I don't know if I'm allowed to, you know, being a goy and all.
It's just one big universe of fucked up at that site and such is the spectacle that I cannot look away... because there're naked women. We've been over that. Sure, there's ample amounts of drama and repulsion to be had if you read the site but... OK. There's no excuse. It's because there are naked women. That's why I stayed there.
And that's kind of the point I'm about to get to.
The guy misidentifies perhaps the most popular internet model out there right now: Bryci.So, here's what we have: We have Bryci. All you have to do is Google Bryci with the safe search turned off. You won't get anything but Bryci as your search results. Believe me, I have a tab open right now, all it is is the Google Image search results for "Bryci". Guess who's there. Nobody except Bryci. That's it. It's like typing "Iggy" or "Lemmy" into Google: You have dig into the recesses, the bowels of Google's servers before you find somebody who isn't Iggy or Lemmy come back as a search result, and that shit might take you a few weeks.
So, we've established how popular Bryci is. We should also mention that she's Canadian (She's Canadian?), she's twenty something, Bryci is her real name (that link is safe for work), her breasts are admittedly fake (according to an interview I read a long while back), she looks like this...
... and her website alone is worth this...

It actually makes me feel a little bit better about my 2011 earnings when I realize I made more than that last year.
So, it's probably safe to say that Bryci is not a nineteen year old, natural breasted escort currently residing in Florida under the name Kyla Saperstein. Though it's easy to see how the anti-Semite got confused. After all, he's using Backpage, the neglected step-sibling of Craigslist.

Click to enlarge.

You can click to enlarge that one, too.
So, what the anti-Semite takes away from this is that she's nineteen and her name is Kyla. How he arrived at her last name being Saperstein is beyond me. His assessment that those tits are natural? Shows you how much he knows. (And if you read the comments section at his site, you'll also see how much he'll defend what he knows.) And then he just decides she's a Jew with his weird classification system. Seriously. He has a classification system. You know like how you have a classification system for your dog? Black lab versus chocolate lab or Jack Russel terrier versus Boston terrier? Yeah, kind of like that but with people. And he's supposed to be some sort of expert at this, so he takes one look at Bryci (whom he thinks is Kyla Saperstein), sizes her up, and claims she is "somewhere in the gray area between types I and II" while displaying "Khazar features". I mean, this is the shit he says; imagine the shit he thinks about.
But, more importantly, imagine the amount of time this guy is online. Imagine the amount of research he has to put into his antiquated, eugenics-based human classification system. Imagine the amount of time he has to spend hunting down post-WWII and post-Korean war era titty photos of Jewish women and then not get distracted by all the titties all the time. (Even I'm having a bit of trouble focusing.) He even cops to spending a fair amount of time at Boobpedia (yes, an encyclopedia of boobs and the women attached to them). This isn't his only website, either. He's got at least one other one I've seen that's just chock full of WWII conspiracy theories and imagined truths (Speaking of truths, he doesn't deny the Holocaust happened but, to hear him talk about it, it was just a thing.), so he has to spend ample amounts of time online to research that stuff. You know, to find the research material that he agrees with, anyhow. So he's an internet presence. He's online. How does he not know who the fuck Bryci is?
And so yesterday, I thought about - yes, I seriously thought about posting a comment to the effect that that's Bryci. In Canada. Not Kyla in Florida. But then I realized, Wait. This guy's site is anti-Semitic. Why would I want to post anything helpful and informative to his site? Why?
But it bugs me. It bugs me that there's such a glaring, egregious, and easily-corrected error out there. And then on the other hand, yeah. An anti-Semite was wrong. So that's, like, what? Tuesday?*
So I'm letting it go, moving on, getting on with other things. There are better things to do than correct bigots. Like looking at their porn stashes.**

* It was, actually.
** Not to be confused with the porn-stache.

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