31 December, 2011

How do we end December and 2011?

This year had five hundred fifty nine posts, including this one, yielding 1.53 posts per day. So how did we spend this year of... What did we do?
January
42 posts, 1.35ppd. Broke my glasses (again) and talked about Druids.
Shortest post: I'm going to get an eye exam today (5 words)
Longest post: "So, You've Got Food Poisoning" (2,940 words)
Favorite graphic: Baby eating a grapefruit.

This cracked my ass up for probably ten minutes.
February
41 posts, 1.46ppd. John Barry died. Tura Satana died, too, but I didn't find out until September.
Shortest post: "Hey!" (7 words)
Longest post: "It's Friday: Let's Clarify Exactly What My Job Is" (1,274 words)
Favorite graphic:
March
48 posts, 1.55ppd. Elizabeth Taylor died. I watched Rikki-Tikki-Tavi. I called St. Patrick out on genocide. I called shenanigans on Killing Joke again.
Shortest post: "My phone has a flashlight." (2 words) (And it has a compass, too.)
Longest post: "How do we begin March? By nitpicking at a remake of a French spy flick." (1,593 words)
Best post: My characterization of my old man as a fame whore still cracks me up.
Favorite graphic:
April
47 posts, 1.6ppd. Poly Styrene died. I watched 80s movies.
Shortest post: "I biked close to nine miles, today" (3 words)
Longest post: "Let's Review a Classic 80s Monster Movie" (1,660 words)
Favorite graphic:
May
46 posts, 1.48ppd. We hit 2,000 posts. Tina Fey had a birthday. Osama bin Laden found out the hard way what happens when you fuck with us.
Shortest post: "Can we all agree on something?" (6 words)
Longest post: "It's Friday: Let's Piss Off Every Piece of Equipment I've Ever Owned... For Our 2000th Post!" (2,977 words)
There were so many great graphics in May; it was hard to choose just one. I'm going with one I drew:
June
45 posts, 1.5ppd. My friend, Charlie Tuna, died.
Shortest post: "Say 'Hello' to CaSa014..." (5 words)
Longest post: "It's Friday: Let's Say Some Things We're Going to Regret!" (1,814 words)
Favorite graphic:
July
45 posts, 1.45ppd. Tried to start a band with Tiger Gang Tony. I saw Harvey Milk live at their first ever tour date in MPLS.
Shortest post: "Three more I drew at the bar." (0 words)
Longest post: "I bet you were wondering if this disease had a name." (1,915 words)
Favorite graphic:
August
40 posts, 1.29ppd. I managed to watch the first two Urotsukidoji flicks. Couldn't bring myself to watch the other four.
Shortest post: "I swear to damn and back that I'm going to see this tomorrow." (8 words)
Longest post: "Yesterday's Hostel Incident Report" (1,566 words)
September
50 posts, 1.67ppd. I watched all three seasons of The Adventures of Pete & Pete and all three seasons of Gilligan's Island.
Shortest post: "Another one I drew at the bar." (7 words)
Longest post: "It's Friday: Let's Piss Off the Anti-Bullying Movement!" (1,501 words)
Favorite graphic:
October
55 posts, 1.77ppd. Spandau Ballet would not go away. JD Samson got on my bad side all quick like. I tossed my first salad.
Shortest post: "I'm not telling you to smile but don't be down." (0 words. Check the time stamp on that one, I was obviously drunk.)
Longest post: "It's Friday: Let's Piss Off JD Samson!" (1,878 words)
Favorite graphic:
November
45 posts, 1.5ppd. We welcomed Contributing Author M. Martin to the fold. Since joining us in our hallowed halls, I suspect he's probably taken up a-pack-a-day habit and drinks until he's numb to tentacle porn. What can I tell you? Contributing Author Adam went all The Deer Hunter on everybody and Contributing Author Joe moved to Kansas where he will perhaps go all Burroughs up in there. Former Contributing Author Daver drinks fish blood and Former Contributing Author Scot T. roams the Japanese country side as a panty vending machine salesman.
I totally made all that up.
Shortest post: "I'm late today because I had things to do." (8 words)
Longest post: M. Martin's Point on Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane over the Sea (2,113 words, 493 words longer than my counterpoint)
Favorite graphic:
December
54 posts, 1.74ppd. The most musically related month ever!
Shortest post: "Another one I drew at the bar." and "Another one I drew at the bar."(0 words)
Longest post: "Charlie talks to the kids." (2,676 words)
Favorite graphic:

This is Sound Design and Assembly. The time is now 1743CST. I'm about to make some cheese burgers. We are closed for business until 2012.

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