28 November, 2011

Your weekly musicians' ads.

There are only three this week, my little illiterati, but do not fret; what we lack in quantity, we more than make up for in clown-shoes-crazy.

Wanna be in my band? (Minneapolis)

Date: 2011-11-27, 4:41AM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

OK, A) That image is so priceless that I nicked it and uploaded it to my Picasa account so that it will never disappear from this post. I mean just look at it. Is that the kind of picture you want disappearing from this post? No. No the fuck it isn't. Secondly, B), or however you want to annotate this one, from a graphic design standpoint, your sign is jacked. Generally speaking, you only change fonts to create emphasis on a particular clause. So you've got Century Gothic then Century Gothic Bold on the same line and then you changed it to a script typeface for the unfortunate line "Wanna Be", then you make that typeface smaller for the next line, and return to Century Gothic Bold for the last line but you increase the size of the question mark slightly. Dude, for real, shit's pretty jacked. But I'll give you an A for cajones.

Wrapping up the production for my debut album, I am now in the process of putting
together a band to play the stuff live. I will be handling lead vocals Naturally. and also play a
bunch of random things, mostly guitar and uke (played nearly everything on the record).

What I'm looking for in musicians:

1 drummer
1 bassist
2 multi-instrumentalists to cover additional guitar, synths, keys, uke, xylophone, marimba, bells etc

Cool Got it./hard-working Got it./sexy I'm out. guys and girls in their 20's to early 30's.
Personality and creativity is more important than chops. I love it when I find this declaration in an ad because then I imagine how inundated with people who can't actually play the poster winds up hearing from.

Depending on shows/venues and things, I will additionally have, on occasion, orchestral
players to further flesh out the sound. That's pretty ambitious. I'm searching for violinists, cellists and horn players
as well as the core band members mentioned above. The songs can be easily arranged in
various fashions (stripped down, etc) as needed.

You'll be playing original pop tunes that sound exactly like AAAnnnddd... GO! Salvador DalĂ­ paintings, refracted light,
Richard Dawkins theories, coastal cities, Kurt Vonnegut/Cormac McCarthy novels, eight-legged
oceanic creatures, first kisses and Wes Anderson movies. SSSooo... Like Andrew Bird? Tiny, ambitious, little songs.

Once we find our footing, we'll be performing a bunch of gigs around Minneapolis as well as
tour the world. No shit? For the first record, I've been collaborating with a producer in NY/LA Those are two different cities separated by three thousand miles or so. It's not like saying "MPLS/St.P". who has engineered
White Stripes, Modest Mouse and Flaming Lips tracks. And the name of this producer / engineer? Eventually a second collection of songs
will be written and recorded, this time as a band. You in?

Write me and introduce yourself.

  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
image 0
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx


Just so you know, SD&A's template translates the headings into all lower-case, so, you can't see it, but this guy titled his post using caps lock; that's how serious he is.

Date: 2011-11-26, 5:54PM CST
Reply to: xxxxxxxx@comcast.net

I have 4 songs that I wrote, recorded and copyrighted. These four songs are for a band that would like to use them to as they see fit with the understanding that we share in any profits that are made by the use of these songs. The songs range from pop, rock to pity What? and are worth listening to. I WILL PAY YOU UP TO $4,000.00 TO LEARN AND PLAY THEM!!!!! CAPS LOCK QUINTUPLE EXCLAMATION POINT!!!!! E mail me for details.

  • Location: St Paul,Mpls. MN
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Wanted: Versifier Savant for Avant-garde Pop Group (NE MPLS)


Date: 2011-11-23, 8:01AM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Join us. OK, did anybody else read that in the Evil Dead voice?

We have been playing music together for three months and I think there is a lot you will like. Proceed. We are serious with each other, but not too demanding. We respect each other while pushing onward toward our Goal.

Our Goal:
To create ambient music I'm out. for the run-down, forgotten areas of our world. Oh, shit. This is about to go one of any kind of ugly ways. These guys could be hippies, they could be new agers, or they could go to art school. I'm just saying: Shit's about to get ugly. Our Media are local bars and parks in Northeast Minneapolis. We seek to recreate the sounds an average bar-goer would experience in an average bar, played by an average band. OK, on the one hand, what you said makes sense. On the other hand, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I think this is what it's like to be mind-fucked. The unusual part of our approach is that we are informed by the body of work created by experimental musicians to create mood pieces and impressionistic work which paint a picture of a given scene. So, wait. Is this some sort of Brian Eno Oblique Strategy bullshit or are you just taking the piss? Our scenes are these divey, sleepy bars and their tired, old patrons. As careful observers, we seek to recreate their musical experiences, as thoroughly as our abilities allow. Huh?

Our abilities and interests:
We have no illusions about our limitations. We are limited by our skill and experience with music. So can you play or not? Our instrumentation is currently a drummer, a guitarist, and a guitarist/keyboardist. Our experiences and tastes with music range from fast 3 minute pop-rock songs to understated blues-rock to free-form sonic tapestries. We are open to all sorts of experimentation, but seek to fit our efforts to the mold set by our predecessors in our Media. I think I'm getting it now. You're just coming up with fancy ways of saying, "We're a bar band." That's it, right? You're just a bar band and you occasionally break out a cover of "Jesse's Girl" when some drunk old crone shouts it out from the end of the bar? Is that it? I think that's it.

What we want:
We are looking for a lyricist/singer (in that order). We want someone who can pen decent lyrics (where "decent" is mostly subjective to our tastes). However, we want this to be as much "your thing" as it is "our thing". Also, your singing abilities need be only one step above silence. Oh, god, you're setting yourself up for a headache, junior. You know that, right? It is most important that you resonate with our goals.

If you have made it this far in the ad and feel excited about our request, please contact us. No.

  • Location: NE MPLS
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

No comments:

Post a Comment

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.