14 November, 2011

Your weekly musicians' ads.

I am just full of needless snark today.

Rude girl meets Riot girl seeking some fine gentlemen for new project (Minneapolis )


Date: 2011-11-14, 2:20AM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Hey! I'm a guitarist/bassist/Singer/songwriter /performer OK. from Minneapolis Right. and I'm looking to start a new original project. Got it. I love Ska, I'm out! 90s rock, grunge, alternative, punk and Glam. I've been in some successful bands No shit? I've heard of those guys! and have toured nationally many times. Read: Played in Iowa once. I am very connected to the music industry in Minneapolis as well as other large cities like Chicago and Los Angeles. Tossing that one to you, Iceman. I'm very professional with professional gear. Email me for mp3s of my previous work.

  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Want a GOOD drummer


Date: 2011-11-13, 2:29PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Ive been playing guitar for 5 years and can play real good. Wait for it. I can improvise very well and want to play with a drummer so that I can get some more feel for the music in my head. AAAnnnddd... Go! I can make original measures and bars without thinking and move them from the roots to upwards into a tree of musical vocalization that has leaves that change colors and eventually fall to the earth to provide energy for the roots to absorb. I have no idea what the fuck you just said. Completely figurative Yeah, I just kind of assumed you were being figurative. but that is how I visualize how I play, I visualize how I play as putting my fingers on strings, thereby adjusting their length to cause different frequencies to be emitted dependent on length as I strum them with a plectrum. Because I'm from a little place called Not Outer Space. try to build on everything I played before and build and build and build until I have that perfect correlation of feeling of the music. You sound like a goddamned hippie. Cant play at my place Frownie face. so if you got a place to play then awesome. Text me at xxx-xxx-xxx xxxx xxx xxx

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Meat Puppets (Minneapolis)


Date: 2011-11-12, 4:11PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Bass player available.

Where the Meat Puppets WERE is where I was. Where they are at NOW is kinda where I am at now. If you understand that, Sorta. then maybe I would be right for your band/group. Not really.

  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Drummer and Bassist!!


Date: 2011-11-10, 3:11PM CST
Reply to: xxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com

Looking for some bad ass mofos to play in a band! Exclamation point! I need someone who can slap the shit out of their bass and someone who can beat the crap outa their drum set! Exclamation point! Influences would be anything hard rock, metal type stuff such as ozzy, pantera, and nirvana! Nirvana was not a metal band and exclamation point! People need to be young with a carefree, do it yourself, punk rock type of attitude and have nothing to live for but this band!! Unrealistic expectation of commitment and double exclamation point!!

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx



Female singer!


Date: 2011-11-09, 8:07PM CST
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

hello there.
16 year old female. Worst. To Catch a Predator set up. Ever.
singer of many kinds of music.
just looking to get somewhere big and/or small.
anything would be great!
contact me! I have so many snarky responses to this that they're oozing from my brain and out through my ears.
...
So let's see what sticks!
  • Don't!
  • It's a trap!
  • Tits or GTFO.
  • Where are your parents? I ask only because I'd like to know how long until they get home from work.
  • You have no idea how much trouble you're inviting.
  • I kind of want to so I can see about getting a seat in the surveillance van for the next taping.
  • Why? Do you need help with your homework?
  • Alright, but I don't stop at second base.
  • This can't end well.
  • I've got somewhere big for you to get to.
  • 'Anything' would be great? Anything?
  • Sure I'll contact you! Becoming a sexual predator is just the kick in the ass I need to be more active in my community!
    Get it?
    Because every time they move, they have to go door to door and tell their neighbors and... No? No good? Not working for you? Fuck you, then.


  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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