17 October, 2011

Your weekly musicians' ads. (Post 2,222)


Thrash/Death Metal Bassist wanted!!! (Cambrigde )


Date: 2011-10-16, 2:07PM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Our Group is Dedicated to making Crushing and brutal Heavy Metal. But not to learning capitalization. Metalcore fags need not apply. Right out of the gate this guy is trying to make friends.

INFLUENCES:
Pantera, The band with the white supremacist singer. Lamb of God, Cannibal Corpse, I love their deleted scene from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Overkill, Death, Slayer, Psychostick
Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Iced Earth, Deretla, Death Row Marytrs, Dethklok, That's not a real band.
Slipknot, System of a Down, AC/DC, Accept, Athiest, Rammstien.

We also are planning on bringing an insane live show, Masks, Blood, General Shock Rock deals, Didn't we go over this shock rock shit last week? be prepared to make a mask if we take you on. How about the mask I wear is the mask of dignity? It's real easy to make; you can make one, too. You make one by not wearing a mask.

No Corpse Paint Unless you've burned down a Church. OK, the guy whose band wants to wear masks is now taking swipes at Norwegian black metal? The guys who actually do wear corpse paint and really do burn down churches and even go so far as to murder each other? You got some brass ones on you, Sonny Jim.

Our Age group is 17-19, well take any one from 17- 21
Must have your Own Equipment (i.e. Bass and AT LEAST a 100w Amp)
2 or more years Experience Preferred
Must be serious about making Good, heavy music and Practicing reguarly. (You will have Bass solos.) And if I refuse to play bass solos?
Must have a reliable transport to practice (You drive, or your Conjoined twin drives you, that reliable.) A conjoined twin joke! How cute!
If you have a practice space we can use, lovely. Out of - wait, how many of you are there? Whatever. Between the at-least-two of you, neither one has a place to practice?
If you can contribute to the Drum set at all it would be appreciated. Wait, what? Why is the bass player "contributing" to the drum set?
Oh. Shit.
I think I found it.
I think this is it.
You know how all these ads specify "must have own gear" and I'm always asking, Where are these musicians that don't own their own instruments?
Well, my little illiterati, my white whale has arrived: The drumless drummer.
I don't know how to feel about this. Should I be dancing? Should I be weeping? Should I be putting in more research regarding this?
Meh, fuck it.


If we like you, and if you Can metal, like we can Metal, Dude, capitalization. Learn it. Know it. Live it. you may very well have a spot in our Band

  • Location: Cambrigde
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

16 year old female singer!


Date: 2011-10-14, 1:13PM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

hello, i am looking for someone to colaborate with,
i sing any types of music.
if you are interested please contact me
Worst. To Catch A Predator set up. Ever.

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx
And the winner of our "Right to the Goddamned Point" award is...

drummer (twin cities)


Date: 2011-10-14, 1:03AM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

real loud
pretty good

  • Location: twin cities
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

Devoted bass player looking for band (Eagan)


Date: 2011-10-12, 3:31PM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

What's good!?

First off, I'll tell you basic shit about me.

I'm 19. Welcome to the World After High School! Get ready to get your ass a job! I have professional gear. Svt4 pro head on a 4x10 Hartke. All in all it was about 2 grand. You know, just in case anybody here was curious about the price tag. I have a license so I can travel. I play the part as a musician. What? I have hair that's down to my shoulders, its jet black, and lots of people say I look like criss angel, SSSooo... like this?

Get it? It's... it's a douche kit? No? No good? Not working for you? Fuck you, then.
or Nikki sixx when its a done up. You mean you have an "up" do? I have my ears pierced and gauged, I don't care. and a few tattoos (but I will have sleeves ;D) I don't care. and all that. Great. Moving on... I'm kind of nuts I guess you could say. No, I'd say you're a cunt. Im a recovered coke addict, Really needed to know that. but I still smoke pot and drink. I don't care. If your not ok with that I'm not interested. Bands need to know how to party. Yeah? Nikki Sixx knew how to party, too. So much so that he was actually pronounced clinically dead after OD'ing back in '87. Sometimes I'll be at a party and just get completely naked, run around and scream just to see reactions. If you had left it at running around naked and screaming, I'd say that you're a free spirit and, hey, whatever, boo, it's all good. But you had to include that last bit about just wanting to see people's reactions. That makes you an attention whore. If you were my bandmate, I would punch you in the face the first time I saw you do that shit. You are a grown man in a public place. Don't embarrass yourself. I love to fuck around, and have a good time. But anyways...

WHAT IM LOOKING FOR!!! CAPS LOCK TRIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!
No high school band bullshit here. You know, because high school is so last year. Some serious members ready to devote their lives to music. I love all kinds of rock. But sounds I really dig are skillet, Never heard of. avenged sevenfold, Didn't like. all time low, Never heard. sum 41, Heard they sold out after the middle eastern guy left. sixx am, Haven't heard, can't imagine it sounds too differently from Mötley Crüe. etc! I'm down to play any type of music like that. I'm out. I'm looking for guys/girls with experience onstage. I have been doing this since I was 14 and love it to death. I've played at places including 1st ave, station 4, triple rock, fine line, etc. My most comfortable moments are onstage. I go completely nuts live. I spit water on the crowd, Because you know what I want to do? I pay to get into a club to have some asshole spit on me from the stage. crowd surf, flip them off, one time I actually jumped off the stage and started a mosh pit. Notice how everything he details doing on stage does not involve playing the fucking bass? That was awesome! I get them really involved with the music, and I swear a little if I get to talk for a second. SSSooo... who's bringing the duct tape? Please have professional gear also! That always helps. If my ad sticks out at all and you think I might be a good fit for a band your trying to form or a band your already in let me know! It'd be cool to jam sometime.


  • Location: Eagan
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2646424269

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