03 October, 2011

Your Weekly Musicians' Ads

thee electric handlebar moustache (uptown)

Date: 2011-09-28, 8:26PM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

influences: death from above 1979, black keys, at the drive-in, mc5, and the like. "And the like"? There is no "like" there. Not one of those bands sounds similar to another.

i play the drums, guitar, and bass moderately. Moderately? You're playing an instrument, not drinking. just looking for someone to start a band with me. i just kinda want to punch garbage music in the nose with the energy of 10 spider monkeys. Don't do that. Don't do that whole cutesy schtick because now I have license to take nothing you say seriously.

the name is could be thee electric handlebar moustache. Then I will not join your band.

  • Location: uptown
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx
OK, everybody take a deep breath; we're going under...

(!Calling the Creative!) Looking to start a serious musical project! (Uptown Minneapolis)

Date: 2011-09-30, 10:51PM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Hey there guys-

I'm looking for other creative individuals who are interested in putting together a serious musical project that will hopefully go places. Uh-huh. I am a singer-songwriter who has been kicking out some pretty well reviewed material SSSooo... your mom likes it. but I don't think I'm optimizing the potential of the music I'm writing by going it solo. What I'm looking for is pretty specific, so if the following doesn't apply to you- then PLEASE don't respond to this. Cool.

* For one thing: we won't really be doing covers... OK. At least not at first, and any covers we do- will have to be decided upon and agreed upon by all members of the 'band.' Covers have a time and a place, but I'm looking for people who want to create original material. At a certain point, I think it'd be great (once we've established our own creative coherency) to work on an interpretation of other artists' work, but that will not be the primary or even secondary focus of this project. To summarize: We'll be focusing on doing originals. Yeah, you're one of those guys that takes a long walk to go a short distance, aren't you?

* I'm looking for spiritually minded people. Alright! We can wrap this up! Nothing to see here! This guy's a fucking hippie, is all. I don't want to get involved with individuals who are so-called "alphas" (control issues, grandiose sense of self etc.) Wait a minute. Spirituality? Alphas?* Oh, shit. He's not a hippie at all. This is - He's - Oh fuck. He's a SCIENTOLOGIST. or people who are only looking out for themselves. (In other words: person should care about others and be conscientious of the impact one has on 'others.') Why did you put quotes around one "others" but not the other "others"? I'd like to create an atmosphere where each member feels completely comfortable to express his and her self creatively. Replete with herbal tea and enemas. The task of creating music requires us to be vulnerable to the criticisms/biases and feedback of our fellow musicians. This is hard enough even when everyone is of a fairly positive demeanor; enormously more difficult when there are antagonists within the group who thrive off of drama, harshness or the belittling of others. I'm not looking for "Buddhas" here, but egoists need not apply.

* I'm looking to make this a mixed sex/gender group. I don't want a group of "all" guys because You're hoping to score some tail with the whole "I'm in a band, you know?" front? I feel like that stunts creative potential. Oh. The kind of musical integrity I'm hoping to achieve requires both the male and the female influence/energy/perspective. Yin and yang, I get it already. Move on to the next bullet point. Men and women each bring something totally unique to the table One has a pee-pee. The other has a cooter. in terms of subjective experience, mental focus and emotional awareness. Yes, men are emotionally stunted brutes incapable of expressing needs outside of the tangible realm and women are irrational rollercoasters that bleed from their crotches once every lunar cycle.(Also, as far as aesthetics are concerned: I'd really like to have one or several female vocalists involved with this project as I feel that a female voice would compliment the material I've been working on quite nicely. Even better if it's a female vocalist that also plays guitar!) You're not fooling anybody. Either start a band or join a dating service but don't try to combine the two.

* I'm open to any musicians, regardless of what their instrument of choice is. I think the more variety we have in terms of timbre the better, but I'm definitely looking to fill out these basic positions:
- Bass
- Percussion/Drums
- Female Vocalist
- Lead Guitar
- Keyboards
(I sing and play rhythm guitar, but I'm open to having a male-co-vocalist sing certain songs or background on certain songs if it would better suit the song. But in general- I'll hope/seek to sing the songs that I personally write the vocal melodies for.)

* It would also be great if someone could come forward who fits all of these requirements and also has a place for all of us to practice consistently. I live in an apartment, and so it's impractical for me to assume we could practice at my place. However, I will be able to practice with keyboardist, bassist, lead guitarist or co-vocalists at my place. Alternately, you could've just said that you don't have a practice space.

* As individuals begin to respond to this and the right people begin appearing, we'll go through a short trial run over the internet where each of us exchanges an introductory email with all of the others so that we can make sure we're all comfortable with one another ahead of time. I don't know about this whole Scientology thing, man. This ad is totally starting to reek of Nag Champa and hand-holding.

* The final requirement is this: I'm looking for people who are not rigidly attached to one particular style of music. I'm looking to experiment but I'm also looking to create pieces that are aesthetically pleasing. We'll break new ground, but we'll do it in a way that appeals both to the fringe and to the mainstream. We'll dabble in many different styles and add our own flavor to each. We won't be an easy act to define or pin down, but people will enjoy what we're doing. Read: "We'll be making hippie music."

**ATTENTION** Much of what I have been working on in recent months and for the past couple of years are 'lower-key' type of arrangements, but I'm open to adding upbeat songs to the repertoire. That's one of the reasons that I am seeking other creative individuals to team up with. We each bring our style and focus to the table, and it will be the fusion of these styles that creates the real gold.

So, check out www.soundcloud.com/xxxxxxxxxxx to check out a small selection of my work. I did. It's hippie music.

**SCAMMERS** Please do not mess with me. Notice how that statement was puzzlingly not followed by any sort of "or else" statement. I will only respond to people whose identity I can verify in some way either through Facebook, or some other equally reliable means. I hate to make that a requirement if it excludes the perfect person, but in this day and age, you really can't be too careful about conducting meetings like this over the internet. Then why are you using the internet? If you don't have Facebook or some other way of proving that you're actually who you say you are- we can talk, but I will be asking some questions- and I'm not easily fooled.

If you've checked out my work, and this sounds like something you would be interested in doing and excited to take part in- please feel free to respond to this post! I look forward to hearing from you!

  • Location: Uptown Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

***METAL BAND*** Seeking Singer...

Date: 2011-10-01, 11:56AM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxxy-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

We have 4 solid songs, and several more in the making, nows a great time for the Singer to step in. OK, does everybody have their official SD&A score cards? Mark that one: Four songs. Only four. New band, just starting out. We have excellent equipment, home recording studio, talent, drive, and we're real level headed people, no drama or BS here man, just good times an badass metal looking for the missing piece and the right opportunity to step in the right place at the right time. We have 3 songs up on Myspace right now, and another in the recording process. To find the missing piece we must seek across the nation. Still following? Did anybody have a "Huh?" moment there? If you did, then tick off another point on your score card. Chances of finding the perfect fit here in Las Vegas Another point. is almost as good as getting struck by lightning. If your a great musician you will know what i'm talking about. How far do you want to go??? Yeah, so do we, beyond the top. Click the link to a new? and last start. If you take your music seriously??? Quit wasting time and make it happen, most importantly? Keep in mind to find your missing pieces as well you just might have to MOVE to pursue your goals. There it is! Finally just came out and said it: "We're a band from Las Vegas that nobody's ever heard of and we want you to completely upset your life on a losing gamble." BUT? "We still have legalized prostitution and a shit ton of casinos." What is it worth to you??? call me...


Ski,,, Is that your name or is that a sound effect? (xxx)xxx-xxxx

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

something extreme (burnsville)

Date: 2011-10-02, 3:10AM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

i want to make something extreme. i have ideas, I bet you do. i want this to be collaborative, but i have direction already set. this can be one of those things that people look at years from now and wish they thought of.. Or, realistically, it's something that three of your friends will say they were into and only one of them will mean it while the rest of your friends are "meh" on it. i need a real drummer and a vocalist who can do some diverse real vocals. i can do lowes. The hardware store? if i wanted to release a grindcore record i could do it tomorrow but i want a collaborative group who can make me work towards something better.

  • Location: burnsville
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

* It wasn't until after I made the joke that I remembered that Scientologists talk about Thetans, not Alphas. But it still kind of worked as a joke, right? No? Fuck you, then.

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