19 September, 2011

Your weekly musicians' ads.

Ah, here we are in mid-September; the temperature is cooling but the leaves are still green, there's a chill in the air at night and a bite in the wind during the day, hoodies and windbreakers are reappearing, and the nights come a little earlier and stay a little longer. And, as with the changing of every season, the deluded and the egotistical musicians - the fuck-wits and sociopaths, the ones that talk big but can't spell or punctuate - are slowly heading into hibernation. But even as they scurry into their holes for another winter, I was able to grab a few by the tails. Let's hold them up and take a look at what might be some of the last musicians' ads worth picking apart, shall we?

Hey Hey Now:) Female singer here


Date: 2011-09-15, 11:22PM CDT
Reply to: xx_xxxxx@yahoo.com OK, this should be our first indicator...

Ive never sang professionally or anything and I dont want to be famous, You want to take that one, Iceman? but i wouldnt mind getting on stage with a band!! I have had no training, but I can sing. SSSooo... you can't sing? SO that whats i got!!! Triple exclamation point. let me know if you interested in talking to me:) Oh also, I love R & B and old light rock,eighties.but other than that, im open!!

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

upright bass player looking to join or form band (twin city's )


Date: 2011-09-16, 2:41AM CDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com That's right.

hey Xxx X. xxxxx here. i have just moved here from Arizona and I am looking to start or join something. I am the former upright bass player of Xxxxxxxxxxx XXX, an establishe psychobilly band outa az. I've got about 12 years of playing and touring my belt and had the honor of opening for mad sin nexromantix zombie ghost train Commas, goddamnit! Commas! the list gose on and on. I would love to get back to that level of playing out here. I know how hard I have to work and I hope you have that drive too. Watch what he does here → enough about me what I am looking for is to play some psychobilly or some reved up rockabilly. Tell me you caught that. I am not looking to play slow I tend to get board. or even some horror punk will do just fine. I do play what I like to call short bass too. You mean an electric bass? The ones that are a regular size and used pretty much universally through multiple popular music genres and not a novelty instrument that exists only in the realm of a niche throwback genre known for one good song that was written sixty years ago and has since been repeated ad nauseum under different titles and whose enthusiasts are known for the uniformality of their appearance while being ignorant of the fact that the music actually harks back to a time when even water fountains were segregated? Is that the one you're talking about? creative writing and good song structure is a must. so hit me up. XXXXXXXXXX call or text any time.

  • Location: twin city's
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

No Preconceived Notions (Saint Paul)


Date: 2011-09-18, 10:20PM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Looking for a Bass Player and a Drummer for an Original project. My name is Xxxxx (sing/song write/compose a rough outline) SSSooo... not a musician? and my boyfriend Xxxx (lead guitar/pretty much anything with strings wizard/ composer) and I are musicians from Duluth and just moved to Saint Paul this month. OK, did everybody pick up that last part? Why don't we all hit ctrl+C to copy that to the clipboard and just hang on to it for a while. We are open minded, easy going, rain or shine musicians. We have been playing with anyone that enjoys playing with us and has something creative to contribute. The only part of our music that is set in stone is the lyrics... The part that you wrote... I think everyone should contribute creatively equally because it seems forced to tell someone what or how to play. We either work together or we don't. We started out as an acoustic duo and just left an awesome electric project we had been working on and gigging with for the past 4 months. Now we are back to square one with high hopes to meet like-minded, professional, talented musicians that can be themselves playing. You are really touchy feely, aren't you? One of those "sensitive arteest" types that has to sing about feelings all the time. Tell you what we're going to do: You're going to sit tight and I'm going to look through some of my shit in my closet to find my guy Xxxxxx's number. It's a long shot but I think I could find it. Look, Xxxxxx knows where to score coke. So, we call him up, you give him - I don't know what an eight ball goes for but you give him money for an eightball, and we're going to get you coked out. Me? I'm just going to chill out but you, we're going to get fucking coked out. See if that fixes you. It's hard to describe our sound No, it isn't. and we don't have any recordings of our full band project. You can listen to our acoustic stuff on myspace under xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I couldn't tell you what I am looking for in terms of how we want to sound Yes, you can. because YOU factor in the equation. Not really. You see, I listened to your stuff. I don't factor into jack shit. I would be absolutely wrong for your band. So here's what you're going to do, pumpkin: You're going to nut up - Wait. When it's a woman, wouldn't it be 'labe up'? Whatever. You're going to labe up and make a fucking decision up in this piece. Don't worry, it's not hard to do. Once we get that coke in you, you'll be a decision making mama all over the goddamned place. We have some connections and could line up gigs in a hurry after finding our band mates. CTRL+V! CTRL+V! Paste that shit! They have some connections!? They just moved here from the other side of the state this month and they have connections!? Fuck me, dude! Damn. Forget it. I'm not coking her out, anymore. We have all the time in the world to jam if you want to try it out.. No. we are limited on space to jam but if you are too we will figure it out.. No. I hope to hear from anyone and everyone who can relate and wants to be a part of something true to themselves and their creativity. How is what you do true to me and my creativity? We have about 15 original songs and countless covers we do in a variety of ways depending on HOW WE FEEL. Really, now. Really, this touchy feely schtick is lame. Have you ever been naked, for god's sake? E-mail us with a little info about yourself /when you are available/if you have a place to jam.. etc/whatever.. I hope we can work it out!

  • Location: Saint Paul
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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