05 August, 2011

It's Friday: Let's Piss Off One Singular And Arbitrary iPhone User Who Is Not Representative of iPhone Users As A Whole

In an hour and a half, the first of my fifteen reservations will start showing up. Fifteen.
It's days like today and weeks like this past one that make me hate my job. Every time the phone rang this week, I wanted to snap it in half. Every time another email came into the mail box, I wanted to flag it as spam. The last phone call came from somebody who wanted to stay here but was unable to pay. See if you can figure that one out.
But the one that really got me was just a minute ago. This real Heather Locklear looking type comes up to the door and I inform her that check in isn't for another forty five minutes.
She asks, "Oh. So... I can't come in?"
I hate it when people ask me that. I really do. I can't tell you why. Maybe it's because I don't want them to see that there is no good reason I can't check them in early other than I don't want to. And then the whole, "How about if I just come in?" thing is akin to when I used to get hassled by bums downtown while waiting for a bus: "Hey, man, lemme get a dollar." I don't have a dollar. "How about a quarter?"
So, no, when I tell you that you can't check in until one, don't ask if you can just come in and hang out. You can hang out after you've paid the bill.
I tell her we're still doing housekeeping - aided by the sound of a guest washing their dishes in the background - and none of the rooms will be ready until one o'clock and I can take care of her then, there's a coffee shop she can hang out at called -
"Well, can I just come in and charge my phone?" holding up her iPhone.
This is a new one. Sometimes people try to circumvent the rules by "just looking at a map" or "just using the bathroom" or "just checking their email for confirmation on so and so" (and the only one they get by on is the bathroom anymore) but "charge the phone".
I ask her, What?
"Well, my phone's about to die."
Right, well, that's kind of risky leaving your phone behind.
"What?"
I mean, you'd just plug it in and leave it sitting around strangers -
"Oh, no, I wouldn't leave it."
Blank look. I give her a blank look.
"Can I just..."
Blank look.
"Because it's about to die and I don't want to be without it."
Blank look.
Frustrated, "OK. Where's that coffee shop you were talking about?"
Twenty fifth and Nicollet so one block down and two over.
She left. I really ought to thank her. I didn't have any ideas until she showed up.

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