31 August, 2011

How do we end August?

This month had forty posts, including this one, resulting in 1.29 posts per day. So how did we spend this month of cooking, handling a massive and sustained influx of idiots at work (resulting in the return of form HIR-M, the manager's form for hostel incident reports), watching all three seasons of The Adventures of Pete & Pete, getting some recording done, doing a little bike maintenance, dropping the ball with a Joan Jett lookalike (only to rebound with a disinterested Vancouverite six nights later and I so didn't tell you about that one because there's a statute of limitations that has to run out before I can make the story public) (though I will say that neither party was satisfied), and watching scads of tentacle porn (don't worry, that's a Wikipedia link)?
Number of posts: 40
Posts per day: 1.29
Number of posts that were musically related: 22 (55% of total, once every 34 hours)
Number of musically related posts that were about recording: 1 (it happened once, I shouldn't have to calculate that)
Factor that limits the number of times I may record: The near constant occupancy of the dormitory above my room.
Shortest post: "I swear to damn and back that I'm going to see this tomorrow." (8 words)
Longest post: "Yesterday's Hostel Incident Report" (1,566 words)
Number of Swedish women with just impossibly tight bodies in the hall outside the office right now waiting for their cab: 2
Number of days they've been here: 9
Number of interactions we've had: 3, maybe 4
Progress that was made toward a carnal encounter, here expressed in a percentage with 0% indicating professional distance and 100% indicating that shit was completely off the chain with both of them at the same time, with 'off the chain' here indicating that things got so completely whacked out bonkers that I had a short leather leash running from my neck, down my back, and between my legs and tied off around my balls and that they were totally into going A2M but in that way where it's one's A and the other's M: 0 goddamned %
But that's totally cool because they've been replaced with: Norwegians
Number of Norwegian women who are just built like brick smoke houses: 2
I mean for real: They could tear my ass apart.
Just not quite like this:

But still, kind of...

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