10 July, 2011

Recent Love (Canadian Edition)

Scrapbooker, Lying for the Sake of Lying
Let me start off by saying that there is no way in damn you're going to sleep on this.
Following that, I've never been to Edmonton but I'll just go ahead and call them Edmonton's finest.
And following that, as I'm sure my regular readers know, I take my bike either around the river or around the lakes on Sundays. For the past few months, I've been feeding myself a steady diet of Naked Raygun and Mclusky. After giving this record a listen, I downloaded it, transferred it to my phone, and listened to it on constant repeat while I dealt with all them yuppie ponces around Lake Calhoun. (Speaking of Lake Calhoun, there was a disappointing lack of jiggle-butts out jogging and rollerblading today.) 94°F, a crystal clear lake, and some of the best noise to happen in May 2010 pumping into my ears? I can't think of a better late morning activity. (Other than fucking.)
"Budd", the opening number, in title alone had me thinking Edmonton's finest were going to cover Rapeman's "Budd". This "Budd", while being about the same R. Budd Dwyer, is a completely different animal. I was immediately taken back to NWOH's hardcore punk scene. The lyrics read like a transcript of Dwyer's internal monologue from his infamous press conference.
"Budd" raises the bar and the follow up, "Crush the Mountain" certainly jumps it. I've got to tell you, the Canadian kids are getting it right. All (OK, maybe not all but certainly an uncomfortably sized chunk) of the Yankee two-singer "post-hardcore" bands or whatever the emo kids are calling themselves now that are getting popular and scoring these Victrory Records record deals based on the strength of their hair swoops and little sister pants are nothing but a goddamned embarrassment to us here south of the Great White North. We've always known it, we can't lie anymore. Canadians are whooping the U.S.'s ass up and down the block. Just listen to "Crush the Mountain" if you don't believe me and then you can go listen to that weak-assed bullshit like The Bunny the Bear or I Wrestled a Bear Once or whatever other lame-o name-with-"bear"-in-it band you can think of. With one song, Scrapbooker just annihilated all those bands the same way I annihilated that bathroom at that Chili's off of I-75 when my brother and I went to buy fireworks in Michigan or that time I absolutely annihilated the bathroom of a Roseville BW3.
Remember how I mentioned Mclusky earlier? "Copsucker" easily contends with everything off of Mclusky Do Dallas for "Most Drunken Furniture Destroying Song of All Time". So, I guess Scrapbooker are going transcontinental: They've already made all the top-rated bullshit emo-band YouTube videos look like fucking pants-wetters and now they're taking on Wales. For real, by the time you get to "Copsucker", you'll know that this is the band that slaps its collective tri-dick against bee hives for kicks.
"Big Bird" brings another Rapeman reference into play because I swear to damn and back that the opening lines remind me of "Trouser Minnow". Again, this is its own animal. If you put this on your iPod or Android phone or whatever music device you use while you bike, this is the one that makes you kick in the high gear. You cruise by rollerbladers and joggers and have yourself a private little laugh as you pass them and tap away at the handle bars. If one song off of Lying for the Sake of Lying is going to be your summer time jam, it's going to be "Big Bird". You don't have any say in this matter.
"... Or Maybe We Will" is, if'n you're into the kinds of things I'm into, is the song you've been waiting for for about a month. This is the song you'll leave the bike in high gear for. This is the song that'll make you take ballsy maneuvers on the bike path and curse the five year old with training wheels holding up traffic. Obviously you wouldn't cuss at a fiver year old out loud and you generally don't need music to internally tell the little motherfucker to pick one side of the lane but this one will help to reinforce your internal monologue's unceasing torrent of hatred toward a small child who doesn't know any better. For real, "... Or Maybe We Will" is a total antisocial-enabler.
"A Human Juggernaut" kicks off with a drum intro straight out of Des Kensel's playbook. After that, the music turns into one of those pieces of farm equipment you should stay away from. Remember when Jason Voorhees picked up that one bird in her sleeping bag and just smashed the shit out of her up against a tree? Yeah. That's this song. If this song existed when whichever sequel that was came out, the director would've prolonged that scene to last this song's duration. It would have been brutal, bloody, brain and bone and meat pulp would've started oozing out of the sleeping bag. And somebody on the set would realize, "Oh, shit! She's actually still in there! CUT! CUT CUT CUT, goddamnit, CUT!"
Elliott of Scrapbooker tells me that the guitar was a Godin SD through a Line 6 amp. Aluminum guitar and Traynor nerds take note of that. I'm a Traynor owner and I have a (not really founded on anything) thing against Line 6 gear and I'm saying, "Holy shit!" The guitar sounds awesome. Everything sounds awesome. Really. Go check this record out. Now.

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