07 June, 2011

Tuesday is for idiots.

Idiot 1 leaves a bike in the hallway, the hallway with the hardwood floors, the hallway with the hardwood floors with rubber tires on it. I told Idiot 1 to take his bike back outside. He said, "OK," but didn't move it. I took it outside. He asks, "That fast, huh?"
Yes.
Fucking idiot.
Idiot 2 has no mode of transportation and comes to office asking how to get to Rochester, MN. Hour-and-a-half-away-ass Rochester. I leave him with Idiot 1 who seems to think that you can just hop a ride with an ambulance company out of one of the metro hospitals because I have no idea how you get to Rochester. I don't even know what direction it's in. But Idiot 1 is helpful and Idiot 2 is helpless.
Idiot 3 calls up. Wants to not leave his bag in the office but to leave his bag in his room (thinking he can get around the luggage handling fee that way), has not turned in his linens or his room key. I tell him that shit doesn't work that way and he asks if an exception can be made so that he doesn't have to come back here before 1100CDT. He just doesn't want to pay the ten dollars. And in his broken English, a Scandinavian of some sort I'm presuming from the accent and that his first name starts with a J that's sounded like a Y, he says, "Could you nót make an excepción for me?"
And that's when I finally got to say it to somebody: Everybody asks for the same exceptions. I go on to explain, If we make the exception for you, we make the exception for everybody and then the policy ceases to be.
And that, mon petit illiterati, was the first hour of my day and why I come to you empty handed so get ready to
PLUNDER THE INTERNET!
For your Obligatory Math and Science Content, look no further than What's That In Danzigs? But if you want actual science, you should check out How Many People Are in Space Right Now? SPOILER: At the time of this post, three. Of course, if you were in space right now, you probably wouldn't need our Obligatory Cartographical Comparison Content where you can compare, statistically, how your fair country rates against others in a variety of categories or actually overlay disasters like the BP gulf oil spill on your hometown.
Check out how our Obligatory Parody of a Parody Content skewers Garfield Minus Garfield.
For our Obligatory Do You Remember Where You Were When You First Heard the Big News? Content, we have this video:
And, lastly, for our Obligatory This is Seriously a Thing? Content, go ahead and wonder if you've ever really bothered paying attention to the direction.

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