03 June, 2011

It's Friday: Let's Piss Off a Strugglin' Irish Man!

You know what was funny as shit last night? The Irish guy here was trying, I mean trying so hard, so, so hard with the South Korean bird and somehow, we had gotten on the subject of beards...
Possible captions include:
  1. Presumably because I look like this.
  2. A subject which I know a thing or two about.
  3. Because let's just point at the elephant in the room.
You pick.
... because I brought up how some birds on the internet dating sites have a thing for guys with beards (they do) and Irish asks South Korea, "And wha' ebou' you? Ye like beards?"
South Korea says, "Uh..."
Irish, cheekily, says, "Ar de ye note like men?"
South Korea laughs a little. And you can see that Irish is taking this the wrong way, you can see that he's taking the laugh to mean he's getting somewhere, you can see his chest swell with confidence... right before she says, "I like women."
As I was not in charge of leading the conversation (I was just there to watch the impending train wreck that I somehow knew was about to come), the conversation came to a halt and an uncomfortable - not awkward, straight damned uncomfortable silence. Uncomfortable because Irish lacked the ability to mask his feelings of rejection. And since it was now frightfully obvious that he was one of "those guys" who wouldn't have bothered talking to her if he knew he wasn't going to get laid, I break in after several uncomfortable moments and try to lighten things up by asking South Korea, So, then beards probably don't do anything for you.
She says no and Irish jumps in just to throw more gas on the fire, "Wha turn'd ye aff men?"
South Korea says, "What?"
Irish is curious, "Wha turn'd ye aff men?"
South Korea corrects him: "It's not really that I'm turned off by them - I was just never turned on by them in the first place."
Irish nods solemnly and I take another pull off my shite beer and laugh quietly to myself. The poor heartbroken git.

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