24 June, 2011

It's Friday: Let's Bitch About a Customer (and ask for assistance)!

As with the beginning of any busy season, the kerfuffles come in scores now as with my morning of meeting two Frenchmen sitting in the communal space, insisting that a man with a van had let them in the building. I told them that, unfortunately for them, check in was not until one pm. Mind you, I was not being bossy or pushy or demanding or anything. I was simply inquiring as to how they managed to enter the building without the access code and informing them of when they could come back. I was doing that whole body language and facial expression shit that conveys sympathy or whathaveyou when I told them that check in wasn't until one.
So, stunned was I when dark-haired Frenchie looked at me and said matter-of-factly, "Eet does naught say zat on yoor website," in this real demeaning manner.
My previously sympathetic demeanor vanished and I looked that motherfucker right in the eye and said, It says it four times.
This caused the dark-haired one to look at the toe-headed one dumbfounded.
Readorning myself as Mr. Sympathetic, I say, Well, check in is one pm so if you guys want to hang out at the coffee shop until then, we'll get you in when you get back.
The toe-headed one is cool with this. He probably works a shitty customer service job while the dark-haired one works in a cubicle. You could just tell by their separate demeanors: Toe-head had to cajole Dark-hair into not being a dick and just shut up about it and let's go to the coffee shop.
It kind of ties into that post from six months and two days ago about how to treat your customer service rep: Like they're a fucking human being as opposed to a sub-shit-feeding-fungal-growth or something.
Take the following example:
  1. Unfortunately, check in isn't until one pm.
    "It doesn't say that on your website."
  2. Unfortunately, check in isn't until one pm.
    "Oh, I hadn't seen that. My bad."
Which is the customer you'd rather deal with?
You know why I get shitty reviews? Because those reviews come from shitty customers. Customers who felt over inflated senses of entitlement. Customers who thought - for thirty bucks - that I ought to give them a mani-pedi and a blow job at the same time. (On that point, it's thirty fucking bucks, so don't bullshit yourself on what that gets you. You're lucky the sheets even have a thread count.)
And, yeah, while I'm paid to be nice, keep in mind that I don't always earn my paycheck, so mind your manners. After all, you are called a "guest" for a reason.
THUS CONCLUDES OLD MAN CHARLIE OVERREACTING TO A MINOR ISOLATED INCIDENT BY HANDING DOWN LIFE LESSONS
It's when my day starts like this that I know that things can only go uphill as I'm working a double shift today; 0900CDT to 2300CDT. I also get to work that shift tomorrow.
ANYhoo, you may have noticed that Fridays around here have been of varying quantity around here lately - at least I think so - so, we're going back to what we did last time: You putting a word in a box.
That easy. You want to help out around this joint? Put a word in a box so I can have an idea for Friday mornings. Musically related subjects get priority.
Unless you want the Friday piss-off to die. Then you can do nothing.

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