30 June, 2011

How do we end June?

This month had 45 posts, including this one, meaning that not only are we at a solid 1½ posts per day but that, before this post, we could have just left shit alone and the little archive thing in the right hand column would have said June (44). So how did we spend this shitty shitty shitty month of friends dying, baby bunnies dying, friends being assholes, having our bikes stolen, working over time we don't get paid for, waking up lonely and depressed and miserable, watching Gamines en Chaleur every single morning before work, and at least putting out a new record?
Number of posts: 45
Posts per day: 1½
Number of posts that were musically related: 18 (40% of total, once every forty hours)
Number of musically related posts that were about recording: 7 (16% of total, roughly once every 4 days)
Shortest post: "Say 'Hello' to CaSa014..." (5 words)
Does that actually count as a short post? No.
Negating factor: Duration of the music presented. (00:18:58)
Gratuitous embedding of said music:
Longest post: "It's Friday: Let's Say Some Things We're Going to Regret!" (1,814 words)
Amount of regret, expressed on a scale of 0 to 100, felt from telling a really hot actress I'll never ever meet that she sucked in one movie: 0
Number of actresses we said some shitty things about in June: 2 (Leslie Andrews and Penny Flame)
But it's totally OK because: They're both hot and we all know that shitty things never really affect hot people.
Thing I say to hot people because I'm not hot: Fuck you.
Because: Fuck them.
Activity I engage in because I'm not hot and I've spent an unhealthy portion of time telling hot people to fuck off and therefore have self-destroyed any shot (purely imagined and otherwise) I may have had: Reckless, wanton masturbating to mark the time between bouts of soul crushing loneliness and feelings of uselessness.
Also? I throw myself into my cooking.
Number of posts related to cooking: 2
How much, expressed in binary code, I give a shit anymore: 0
Everyday is: One more useless charade where I wake up with my face in the pillow, cursing the cloud in my skull from the previous night's alcohol, ever failing to find a reason to not exercise and then proceeding to go through the motions of physical fitness to only prolong the tragic parody of existence that I call my life.
Because, really, how shitty was this month? If shit were a mathematical factor, this month would be shit².
Like, imagine shit: Then square it.
Probability, expressed on a scale of 0 to 100, that July can be any worse: I'll pitch it at a 33, so not that high, but we're allowing for the fact that shit happens whether anybody likes it or not.
Because: Fuck it.
It'll get better, right? Yes. (according to Dan Savage)
And, by the way, my little illiterati, I trust you should all be up to speed on current events because you're smart, savvy, observant folks, each and every one of you but just in case you've been under a rock or you don't know how the internet works or you don't read romance-advice columnists or you've somehow never watched a YouTube video or any strange fucked up thing that would factor into you possibly not knowing about this, check out It Gets Better, Dan Savage's project to encourage and support LGBT youth in times of need. But, like I said, you're all smart folks so I know you already knew about this before I ever did and you've been throwing your support behind the project the entire time.

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