01 October, 2010

Well, we were going to have a new Friday feature.

It was going to be called, "Friday Night is Date Night!" and I was going to use my new dating profile to subject myself to the advances of these wacky birds. Alas, every time I turn around, everything requires me to upgrade my membership. I can't even look at the goddamned profile photos without dropping, at the very least, US$7.95 on a three-day trial... that will automatically turn itself into a thirty dollar monthly membership unless I cancel. Therefore, because that's the last thing I want to do, I'm going to cancel my membership. But before I do that, let's take advantage of a little loophole: If I'm not signed in, I get to see their pics.

First up, daggerdani82:
Basic Information Tell us a bit about yourself.

"Irish & French. You can't pronounce my last name.I host Karaoke and I have a thing for beards.I heart riding bikes, booze, rough livin', love givin', old toys, killjoys, dancing with drunk gay boys.I wear REALLY big earrings.I can't drive, I'm a high school dropout.I have a lisp, I wreck shit."

OK. We can make quick work of this one. There's one very important detail I put in bold up there.
On her profile, she also lists her chest as her best feature. Now, that pic doesn't tell us much, so after a simple single Google search, I located her Myspace profile where I found this photo.
I think I can overlook that whole "high school drop out" thing.

Next up, bonesofbabydolls:
Basic Information Tell us a bit about yourself.

"i enjoy concerts and kareoke.
Rocking out to 80's music makes me the most happy.

I'm shy until I get to know you...but if your dorky and not afraid to dance and sing to The Cure with me, I'm sure we well get along just grand."

bonesofbabydolls doesn't really have much to say. At all. I get the Acid Bath reference in her name and in her headline ("finger paintings of the insane") and that's all good. I guess.
She has no other online presence I can search out with the information provided. So. Yeah. Too bad. She's cute.

There. You see what we could've had? Do you see what Fridays could've been like around here? We could've made Fridays mean something again! Alas, the man wants me to pay for my romances.

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