13 September, 2010

Your Weekly Musician's Ad

It was the first one I opened, too.

Theatrical Female-Fronted Metal/Rock Band Seeks 2nd GUITARIST! (Minneapolis)

Date: 2010-09-13, 12:16AM CDT
Reply to: comm-xxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org

Hello, all! We are, as stated, a female-fronted rock/metal band with a very unique sound Oh, I have a feeling I know where this is going. and aesthetic, and we're currently looking for a second guitarist to fill out our final lineup.

What we're looking for is a unique talent, See? Almost. 21+, who is open-minded enough to try something different, Like every other band with a bloated sense of individuality. Listen, it's OK to admit to yourself that there's nothing new. How many stoner-metal bands do you know that get upset when they find out they sound like Black Sabbath? Zero. So drop the charade and just admit you're a metal band. I'm sorry, who were you looking for? someone who is capable of playing metal riffs See? but, above all, has the ability to write a catchy hook and a memorable song. We would prefer someone who likes to experiment with different effects for tonal/mood variety. Urgh. We'd prefer you have a cool look as well, Ferfucksake. but musical ability comes first!

You, Moi? of course, Oh. need to have good gear, a sense of humor, and the ability to work well with others--you won't get very far with us (or anyone!) if you're sour and mean! Sittin' on your cloud of judgment, handin' down life lessons to all the sinners. :-) What the fuck was that? Rewind the tape. :-) Oh, Christ. You need to have the financial resources to contribute to band expenses (space rent, recordings, photo shoots, merch, etc); ABSOLUTELY NO charity cases. Which is the perfect segue into... We want to take this as far as we possibly can, and have fun doing it. If you're down with this goal, and the other stated reqs, send us an e-mail right away!!!

Us: we do this for the love of the music And the merch profits. above all other things. Our sound has elements of dark rock, metal, pop, industrial, movie scores (esp. horror!), tribal, and even the carnivalesque. So you sound like Tool then. If you think this is something you could get down with, do not hesitate to get ahold of us right away. Compare this sentence to the last sentence in the previous paragraph.

Please do check us out at MySpace.com/xxxxxx, or Reverbnation.com/xxxxxx. Yeah, you guys sound like Tool.

We have an all-ages show coming up at Xxx Xxxxxx in Burnsville on Xxxxxx, x/xx, which would be a great opportunity to check us out live, meet us in person, and see what we're all about. Using your unique talents for a unique sound like Tool. Hope to see you there. We'll be waiting to hear from you! :D Don't do that.

  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: xxxxxxxxxx

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