01 September, 2010

Tonight's Hostel Incident Report

Management reports that at approximately 2030CDT, a guest checked in. Showing the guest to his dormitory, the guest already in the dormitory was seen stuffing a plastic bag into a paper one and that the room was filled with the scent of marijuana. To the guest, Management inquired:
What's that smell?
"What smell?"
Come to my office.
Upon entering the office, the guest inquired:
"What smell are you talking about?"
It smells like dope in there, man. If you're going to do that shit, take it to the park across the street.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't do that stuff."
Alright then, don't do it.
"I mean, seriously, I swear - "
Look, all I'm saying is that you're the only person who's been in that room for the past two days and it smells like dope. If it aint you, fine. But it's a hell of a coincidence.
At this point the guest left the office, then returned with luggage in tow:
"What kind of smell are you talking about?"
It smells like pot, man.
"Look, I would never do that stuff and - "
Look: I'm not kicking you out, I'm not calling the cops, and I'm taking your word for it, OK? Calm down. I'm just saying that you're the only person in there for two days and now the room reeks of dope and if you do smoke dope, take it across the street to the park. But you're not doing it inside, got me?
"OK, it's just I get a little freaked out about that sort of stuff."
No, right now, you and me are cool, I don't have a problem with you. It's a non-issue now, OK?
The guest left the office.
Management knows damned well and good what the fuck pot smells like so the guest can quit bullshitting a bullshitter. Hell, you know how many pot connects Management burned through before he was this little twat's age? Shit, Management's old enough that he was there when he watched God invent the shit. Try to tell me that shit wasn't pot, ya dumb motherfucker. Just go smoke it in the park ferfucksake.

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