26 August, 2010

Cock blocking, work dodging, and porn organizing

Jesus, I have nothing. Not unless y'all want to hear about how I cock blocked Little John last night. It's actually not much of a story. Little John had a big complex drunk on last night - the kind of drunk that requires support beams and rafters to hold the inebriation up and studs and drywall to hold sobriety out - trying to talk to this fetching twenty two year old Wisconsinite and it simply wasn't working for him. She giggled at him but maintained eye contact with me (the sober one) and when, at round about twenty to two, the "party" subsided, I asked her out for a drink. Little John appeared dismayed. C'est la vie, right?
Otherwise, nothing to report. Like with every other Thursday. So I do as I do every Thursday morning: Pretend that I'm not looking at porn while trying to decide what I can do with orange and red bell peppers for dinner, all the while trying to deftly handle all the wrong number calls the office phone gets and the butt-calls that Neighbor Rich places to my phone, trying to appear to be doing some work when in all actuality, I'm debating on which of the - hold on - OK, ironically enough - sixty nine porn folders I should delete.
Yes. I have that much porn. Ask my brother why I have that much porn and he'll tell you that my math-brain just loves to sit there and categorize shit. I was one of the only kids in elementary school that could rock the fucking Dewey Decimal system at the library. Ask him how my record collection is organized. Do it.
But there's nothing musical to report at the moment. Not really. I should really look into changing that before the day is out, eh?

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