12 March, 2010

It's Friday: Let's Piss Off Avatar Fans.

So, on Sunday the Oscars were on. Me, I'm not one to watch the Oscars or any award show, but Sadie was coming over to watch them with Georgie and Sadie's usually pretty fun to hang out with. So I grace the room with my presence while I do what I normally do on a Sunday night in Minneapolis: get drunk on the beer I bought on Saturday.
Possible captions include:
  • 'Cause there aint any-damned-thing else to do, that's why.
  • Pictured: What a typical Sunday night in Minneapolis looks like.
  • Aint no blue law gonna stop me!
You decide.
Georgie is technically on the clock, so she's going about her business, which leaves Sadie and I alone in the living room with any number of meandering malcontents who would sit at the computer station and get pissed off that the TV was too loud for them to read their Facebook updates then leave or plop down on the other couch and realize, "Oh, shit, they really are watching this," then leave or this, that, or the other thing.

Only slightly less of a statement of giving up than sweatpants.
So this cat in red track shorts sits down on the other couch, rreeaallllyy close to the TV. Sadie and I are holding a conversation, a loud one, mind you, chiefly because the TV's loud but also because I'm halfway to being completely lit by this point. We're discussing how we've never seen any of these movies and blah blah blah and we agree that we really want Precious to sweep the fuckers because, even though neither of us have seen it, how awesome would it be for Gabourey Sidibe to win her first Oscar on her first nomination for her first film?
And we also mercilessly verbally beat the shit out of Avatar. You know the movie I'm talking about: Made by the "King of the World" who brought you Terminator, Aliens, then Titanic then... nothing. The hype around Avatar was fucking mind boggling because basically it was movie ten years in the making with no preexisting franchise that had movie geeks painting themselves blue and standing in block long lines like the shit was Star Wars: Episode 7. That's an impressive feat, true, that you can generate that much hype just based on that you made a movie.
It was as Sadie and I were verbally pummeling this movie into the stupid, stupid pieces that it is that the guy at the end of the other couch, practically nose to screen, turns to me and hisses, "You know? It was a good movie," then gets up and walks away in a huff.
I turn to Sadie: Did you hear what that guy just said?
"No."
He just got all upset and said, [in a doofy voice] 'You know? It was a good movie.'
"Oh my god, really?"
Just now.
"Jesus."
I then proceeded to tell the story to George. Then we all laughed when James Cameron's ex-wife, sitting right in front of him, took home Best Director and Best Picture, one right after the other. That has to sting, Jimmy. But it's OK because, you know? You made a good movie.

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