17 August, 2009

UPDATE 8/17/09: Charlie Needs A New Laptop Fund Raiser

So far, the contributions have been few but generous, and I thank you my little illiterati for your support.
It struck me today, that this is kind of like a PBS or NPR pledge drive:So it's just like when you're watching PBS and they come on right in the middle of Arthur to start asking for your support for twenty damned minutes and they offer you an Arthur tote bag, forgetting that if you're a part of the show's target demographic, you're ten years old - or a hungover twenty two year old - so you're probably not paying for shit, you just want them to shut the fuck up and get back to Arthur.

Like I've said, George offered to let me use her HP laptop when she's not around and the layout on this thing is a little foreign, just a little. It's like if you've lived in Detroit your whole life but, on a whim, just decided to take a contract job in Windsor. It's not that different, but you can tell.
Now I know what you're thinking: "Charlie, why would you want to go back to Detroit?"
Believe me, I know. I don't want to go back to Detroit. I see going to the Inspiron 6000 as going to Chicago.
I can hear my mother now: "Why in fuck would you want to move to Chicago?" (And, yes, I inherited my grasp of English from her.)
Because I'm currently stranded in Windsor.
I can hear George now: "Don't you think being stranded in Minneapolis is a better analogy?"
Well, Minneapolis is just kind of lame. Windsor is actually foreign. But you see, it's all about upgrading. I could stay in one fucked up urban shit hole with a well documented music history or I could "move up" to another fucked up urban shit hole with a well documented music history and clean streets.
And Ryan (aka Magic Walter) is saying, "Wait, wait, wait. You know, there are ways for you to go back to 'Detroit'. You don't have to trade in Detroit for Chicago. Explain to me exactly everything that happened to Detroit."
Well, Detroit's had nothing but problems, so I think I'm ready for Chicago.
I can hear somebody out there right now with no grasp of analogic concepts: "Man, Canada's awesome!"

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