19 June, 2009

Thank God It's Briday



U.S. Good Will Ambassador.
This week, despite that I've changed my profile picture for the first time in a year, twenty nine women are completely into the idea of marrying the equivalent of an anthropomorphic badger with a stringed plank strapped to him so that they can enjoy Capitalism. So why don't we just jump right into it? I don't have anything else to go on about, and all I can think of right now are cinnamon rolls. You know how long it's been since I've had a cinnamon roll?
Page two: One blonde and six boring ones.
Page one: Nine blondes.
We're now down to thirteen women that would be fit for marrying said stringed-plank-strapped-anthropomorphic-badger to enjoy the wonders of deregulated health care. Don't you love dereguated healthcare? Why I love deregulated healthcare so much that, if I wasn't afraid it would give me a priapism, I'd go shoving Pfizer products up my ass like they were damned suppositories! Hooray for capitalist boner research!
Anyhow, we're still left with thirteen women. So you know what we have to do now; start looking for ugly shoes. And if they don't have shoe pictures, I'm going to have to actually read these fucking profiles.
Well, we're down to two, now. Yes, I'm rushing it this morning because I'm distracted by other things that are actually interesting. Interesting, the opposite of Alina who says:

Yes, I know I look great:))I might be a supermodel:))) but I am not:) but I m glad I managed to capture you look!:)) I know you are probably browsing though my photos :) But let me tell you that there is so much more then just a perfect body:)
Yeah? Shut the fuck up.

Ekaterina is convinced that it's as simple as posing with a vintage hollowbody with cream soapbars and a red sunburst finish to turn me on, so she's out. Really. Lady, you get appeal to my mind. I'm a lout, but I'm a thinking lout.
That leaves us with this week's winner.
Irina is twenty seven, plays guitar and does henna tattoos. She also notes that she is not a redhead but, rather, a ginger person.
The weird part, because there's always a weird part, is that she's also into origami. But only on New Year's Day. Seriously. I am re-re-re-re-reading this sentence: "I am interesting in origami especially on New Year." I really can't make sense of it. I mean, in the grand scheme of "weird" things, this has probably got to be the least harmful weird thing I've encountered. Therefore, I say she's a "go". This is a winning choice, I feel good about this one. I'm completely behind this decision one hundred percent
So, for those of you out there who are into marrying strangers who will pretend to love you back only for the green card, go for it and until next week, keep you romances brief and keep your briefs dry.

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