25 January, 2015

Recent Love (Effluent Edition)

Hyperslob & The Goat Meat Explosion, Infectious Yarn
OK, so at first listen, I wanted to say this sounded like Fear. On the second listen, I still want to say this sounds like Fear. Hyperslob & the Goat Meat Explosion - henceforth referred to as HS&TGME - trade in the sort of simple, straightforward, lo-fi punk that -
OK, I can’t do this. I can’t act like Mr. Fucking Music Historian right now because usually my assessments are just way to the fuck wrong. I wasn’t around the So-Cal eighties punk / hardcore scene; hell, I was starting in kindergarten when that style was becoming passé. But HS&TGME do remind me of the vintage Fear I’ve become accustomed to on recordings; there are tinges and swaths of Clockcleaner out of Philly and the Birthday Party that you could argue one way or another were out of Australia or Berlin. “Belt Box” is easily most fucktoable / beatsomeoneupable song, will probably remain on constant repeat for me. There’s plenty of creep factor on this one, plenty of drunken drug-induced ritual murder scene hijinks on this song to keep a music lover such as myself enthralled.
But there are a lot of burps within the first five songs - OK, so only two. Still, though, are we at the point in popular culture and forward movement in art culture that a burp on tape is somehow a pinnacle of the aural expression of the extended middle finger? The apathetic “fuck you” that strips away any pretense of sincerity?
Overall, this record sounds somehow reminiscent of a fantasized So-Cal punk, the stripe that showed up in a Penepole Spheeris or Alex Cox movie or something: A couple of young reprobates driving around LA, splitting a sixer, Emilio Estevez is there, flipping off the squares because that’s teenage rebellion.
But, hey, the sixth song caps off with another belch. OK.
“Car Chase Anthems” throws out the Fear comparisons and is probably one of the few songs that gets pop punk right in the last ten years. To the point where I’m not even sure this is the same band. And it’s the bassline that reminds me of an old (here meaning only about eight or nine years) Minneapolis band that only a few people (here meaning only about fifty, maybe a hundred) will probably remember called Holy Sockets; the lyrics evoke an image for me a teenaged and more twisted Jonathon Richman.
But then the magic and mystery is totally contradicted, taken back, just shattered, almost as if the band might be trying to say that they don’t want those sentiments expressed in “Car Chase Anthems” to be taken seriously by serving the listener a rhythmically-spliced sound collage of dudes pissing in toilets.
Seriously.
A rhythmically-spliced sound collage of dudes pissing in toilets. Maybe it was one toilet, I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Granted, nobody has ever made a sound collage of piss hitting porcelain before, not that I’ve been made aware of, anyway. And it’s probably because I officially entered my mid-thirties recently but it strikes me as insufferably juvenile. But, hey, I’ve not heard it before, I guess this is the new cutting edge and I am a fan of that photo-study that stirred such a huge amount of controversy in the nineties, the “Piss Christ”, so, in theory, this shouldn’t annoy me the way it does. At any rate, it should be interesting to see the band recreate this one for the live show. Imagine with me, if you will, a group of guys pissing into some receptacle on a stage and pinching and releasing in time. Only Thomas Pynchon at his most delirious - think of the grodier parts of Gravity’s Rainbow - could write such a scene and only Larry Clarke at his most self-celebratory-(read-masturbatory)-edge-pushing-ness could translate the page to celluloid to achieve a similar visual effect.
And then there’s some choral shit.
And then there’s a song that starts out with some intense sounding, really dark, zoning-out type of - nope. There’s a belch. OK. Guys. Got it. You don’t take it seriously. And, yeah, I get it, I drank the punk Kool-Aid, too. Still do. I get that part of things is not taking yourself too seriously or even seriously at all but really. The belches. Can I get high to this? Nope. Can I fuck to this? Nope. Is this a comedy record? Because, I mean, the songs are solid, I don’t need the ornamental belches hung on (next to) everything. This song, “Little Claus” even comes with a cough and a fart.
And, really, imagine having to be the poor bastard that has to sing into the mic that somebody has previously farted into. I really, really hope that the fart guy brought his own mic for that. I also hope he took it home with him, too.
Now, you want some big assed but tight sounding drums? Hot rats, check out “Blood Bank”. For real. All you rap-dudes, sample the fuck out of that intro. The lead guitarist does his best impression of Greg Ginn channeling my beloved Rowland S. Howard. This one is gold. Gold.
And then we end with a song whose bassline reminds me of the last 7 Year Bitch record. Have I told you how much I love 7 Year Bitch? So this? This is good. And this is also where I cross my fingers and repeat “Please don’t burp… Please don’t burp…” It would really mean a lot to me if there are no burps on this song.
OK. Guitar fading out. Almost to the end. Is there going to be… I mean, really…
THANK. FUCK.
So, overall, Hyperslob and the Goat Meat Explosion have made what could have been an insanely great record that’s impeded only by its effluent humor. It’s still worth checking out, I won’t tell you not to. But I also feel like a shithead when I have to include a warning. That warning being that there’re a lot of burps on this record. Maybe it’s just for funsies, maybe it’s intentionally trying to invalidate any sincerity on the recording, maybe it’s some perverted take on kabuki theater; I don’t know, I wasn’t there when they made the record. And if you haven’t made a DIY record, you probably don’t know how much booze and grass is consumed. Hell, if I was a member of this band, I’d probably be toiling late into the night and be drunk and/or high enough to say “Burp on it!”
And that sounds harsh because I’m making it sound like the band could only be drunk and/or high to decide on the burps. For all I know, they could be straight edge. But, hey, even Cobain told Michael Azerrad that Nirvana could release a record of the band farting and force DGC to release it. And he was sober. Or maybe he’d just shot up. I wasn’t there for that either, I don’t know. So I guess effluence is a thing some bands aspire to. My band is pretty boring and run of the mill comparatively, at least in that arena, what do I know?
So my only problem is the burps. And the fart. And the peeing. I’m just an old man anymore, I guess. Otherwise, it’s a fantastic noise-punk record that’s worth your time. You might have a different sense of humor than I have.

19 January, 2015

The Adventures of Tina Titanic, Volume 6, Issue 66: The Late Night Hairdresser

11 January, 2015

It's been a while since I posted anything.

Let's see if I even remember how to format a post with HTML.
I had a dream the night before last involving my ownership of a Volkswagen Rabbit or maybe Passat, a hairdresser, bubbles, and a vampire. So, seeing as how my life is almost back to normal, I decided to break out the sketchbook and have a go at drawing one particular scene. Thus, I present you with the pencil work for Volume 6, Issue 66 of The Late-Night Hairdresser.
What is it with me and hairdressers, anyway?

17 September, 2014

10 September, 2014

Lame-O time.

OK, so Facebook lost this cool post I made and buried it in some hidden history folder. So, fuck it. I'm putting it here. Because it makes me giggle.

Veinte Seis.

23 July, 2014

 
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